"There's just arrived now, to give great content to us, A lovely picture, which someone has sent to us. We know the worst now, for there has been sent to us What's called a portrait of Darwin MacNeill. If it's a likeness, I just tell you what, That you have acted in ways you should not. Don't try a turn of fists On with the journalists; Thrash those who gave you the head you have got. But here's a health to you, Darwin MacNeill! Only just manage new fatures to steal, Then show me the crature would slander a fature Of the beautiful Mimber for ould Donegal." This "Pen Portrait," by Mr. Robert Martin, refers to a matter of much regret to me. I have to confess my sorrow that I was the means of making a Member of Parliament ridiculous! The innocent item came in the ordinary course of my work for _Punch_. I was sent an incident to illustrate for the Diary of Toby, M.P., which, when published, was used as an excuse to "technically assault" me in the Inner Lobby of the House of Commons. [Illustration: REDUCTION OF PAGE IN _PUNCH_, SHOWING THAT MY CARICATURES WERE--IN THIS CASE--PUBLISHED TOO LARGE.] Perhaps in the circumstances I may be pardoned if I confess a secret connected with these Parliamentary caricatures. For some years I provided a page drawing and some small cuts in every number during Parliament--the latter were generally sketches of Members of Parliament. These single portraits were supplied in advance, and engraved proofs sent in a book to Mr. Lucy to select from week by week. The following letter is worth quoting in full as a characteristic letter from the Editor, typical of his light and pleasant way of transacting business with his staff: "Dear H. F.,--"Please keyindly see that H. L. (not 'Labby,' but 'Lucy') has all your parliamentarians whom you (as your predecessor Henry VIII. did) have executed on the block sent to him, as he found himself unprovided up to the last moment and so wrote to me in his haste. "(?) Fancy portrait. Our artist, H. F., as Henry VIII. taking off his victims' heads on the block, eh? "Yours, "F. C. B." To this rule, however, there were exceptions. This particular caricature was one of them: it was drawn at the last moment to illustrate a particular passage in Mr. Lucy's Diary of Toby, M.P. Here it is: "'Look here, Bartley,' said Tommy Bowles; 'if you're going on that tack, you must come and sit on this side. When I saw MacNeill open his mouth to speak, I confess I thought I was going to be swallowed whole. You sit here; there's more of you.'" [Illustration: REDUCTION FROM THE ORIGINAL DRAWING, SHOWING THAT I GAVE INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE CARICATURE TO BE "REDUCED AS USUAL."]