"Not so fast," said Spenworth, as I walked to the bell. "_You_ asked me to second that little beast at the club. I _did_. I went there the other day and was told that some fellow with a name like Apple-pie-bed had told Will that, if he ever dared shew his nose inside the door again, he'd be kicked into the street. Well, as it's our misfortune to share a common name, I took it on myself to have Mr. Apple-pie-bed pointed out to me; I asked him if he didn't think that perhaps he was being a little high-handed. I don't allow _every_ Chinese grocer to take liberties with me. He said: 'I'm sorry the feller should be a relation of yours, but for the sake of the club I must stick to what I threatened. You'd better report me to the committee when it's all over, and we shall then see whether, on a show-down, my action is approved.' That, my dear Ann, is all I know; but, in case you're not aware of it, any reflection on a man I've supported at a club is a reflection on me; if the young cub had been pilled, I should have had to resign; if he gets hoofed out, people will want to know why the hell I ever backed him..." As you know, I am always lost in admiration of Spenworth's _elegance_ of diction. And all delivered as though he were cheering hounds on to a line. Everything in my poor little house _trembled_... Truly honestly I had no idea that men in their clubs could be such great babies... "Sir Appleton Deepe--_that_ is his name, Spenworth; I am not sure whether you were trying to be facetious--," I said, "is evidently a queer-tempered man. I have had evidence of it before. Should you engage in conversation with him again, you may tell him that he touches a hair of Will's head _at his peril_. I have nothing more to say except that _in_ your club you seem to be as violent and disorderly as out of it." There was a certain amount more _noise_ ... and _bluster_. But I think that in time even Spenworth must have seen that he was hardly the appropriate person to champion such a cause ... whatever cause he imagined he _was_ championing... Hardly had he left when my nephew was announced--and came in with a great show of embarrassment. I am very fond of Culroyd; so far as any one, without taking the responsibility of active interference, can help to bring two young people together... Both Culroyd and Hilda persist in regarding me as their good fairy... "My dear boy," I said, "what is the matter?" "Oh, I'm--in the deuce of a hole, Aunt Ann," he answered. "Where's Will?" "He has not come in yet," I said. "Tell me what has happened."