The confessions of a well-meaning womanMcKenna, Stephen
General
The confessions of a well-meaning woman
McKenna, Stephen
English fiction -- 20th century; Upper class -- England -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
Culroyd's marriage made a difference, of course. He was a devoted
brother, according to his lights; and I think she is missing him
greatly. And one wedding, like one funeral, leads to another. _You_
have seen it again and again! The _trousseau_, the presents, the
letters, the general excitement, the very contagion of two young
lovers... All this coming at a time when she seemed _deliberately_
to be making herself as unhappy as possible... I knew there would be
a strong reaction, I was only afraid that she might throw herself at
my Will's head and that he might be unable to say "no". I kept him
away from the Hall as much as I could. If he _really_ wanted her, he
could drop the handkerchief--I felt--in his own good time...
"Your turn will come," I told her.
"Oh, I don't care who I marry," she answered. "I suppose I shall
need a home when I'm turned out of here; and, if so, I'd better get
to work while I'm still young enough to attract men. I'm open to any
offer; the man mustn't be _too_ hopeless a cad, that's all."
This mock-desperation would have been very cynical if it had not been
so unconvincing. I said nothing at the time; but, when I had a
moment alone with her poor mother, I _did_ feel it my duty to say
candidly that it was time _some_body did _some_thing to change the
girl's thoughts. Ruth agreed, but in a helpless, hopeless way that
always makes me wonder how Brackenbury has put up with her for so
many years. In her opinion, Phyllida was pining for her young
soldier and would continue to pine, so far as I could gather, until
she found him.
"Is it not better," I asked, "to face facts? Colonel Butler was
certainly attracted, but he realized in time that he had hardly the
means or the position to qualify him as husband to Phyllida and
son-in-law to Brackenbury. Very properly he made himself scarce; and
nothing in life became him so well as his leaving of it. You say he
has not written? He won't write;--and I respect him for it. But,
goodness me, I hope you're not going to encourage Phyllida to think
that she's broken her heart in a hopeless passion. If you won't send
her _right_ away (as, you will have the justice to remember, I felt
it my duty to suggest at the outset), let her come to me for a few
weeks and let me see if London can't provide something to turn her
thoughts."
The trouble _was_, if you will promise not to tell any one I said so,
that Phyllida's _vanity_ was hurt. When she was running after this
young man, there was so much publicity that people began to wonder;
they became spied on and whispered about; when he was summoned to
Brackenbury, every one felt that _now_ they were going to make
certain of him; when he left before his time, without saying a _word_
to her, it was naturally assumed that he had run away. Rather than
believe that any man could weary of her charms, Phyllida will
convince herself that I turned young Butler against her... Hence
this terrible bitterness...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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