The confessions of a well-meaning womanMcKenna, Stephen
General
The confessions of a well-meaning woman
McKenna, Stephen
English fiction -- 20th century; Upper class -- England -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
"There's nothing much to tell--as yet," he answered. "You've
probably seen that she's been getting steadily more miserable the
last few days. I asked her to-night what it was all about, though I
knew that she was eating her heart out for this Butler fellow. She
would only say that she was unhappy and lonely; and I told her that
was all rot, because any number of men would be in love with her if
she gave them half a chance. Then she said it was no good, because
she couldn't give them any love in return, her heart was dead... The
usual rot a girl talks. I told her that, so far as I was concerned,
I'd gladly risk all that; and she said she didn't care who she
married or what became of her and she wished she'd never been born...
That," said Will, "was nearer by a long chalk than I've ever been
before; and you may take it as absolutely certain that, if she
doesn't hear anything of Butler pretty soon... She dried up and
began to talk of something else when I tried to pin her to a day, but
she was quite decent to me as we drove home."
I could say nothing until I had been given time to digest his news.
Whoever Will marries must have _some_ money; he has earned nothing
since he resigned his post at Morecambe... Perhaps dear Phyllida
thinks a little too much about herself to be the perfect wife for
Will, but it is not cynical to say that, if you look for perfection
in woman or man, you will never marry. One has to consider the
balance of advantage... I did most earnestly want to see Will
established in life and settled down before those dreadful
blackmailing Phentons could make another descent on us. And it would
do Phyllida so much good to marry...
After all my excitements and alarms, I could not sleep for sheer
thankfulness. And, when my tea was brought me and Phyllida of all
people came in with it, I felt that now at last my Will must have
dropped the handkerchief and she was coming to tell me that she had
picked it up.
"My dear, what makes you so energetic?," I asked.
As a rule she insisted on lying in bed until all hours and having her
breakfast brought to her there, _making_ work for my unhappy servants.
"I want to know if you can tell me Hilary Butler's address?," she
said.
"I've never heard it," I told her. "How should I?"
"Apparently he came here yesterday. When I went down to get my bag,
I found his gloves in the hall. But they only have his initials."
I _did_ wish that Phyllida had been less collected and businesslike!
Hard, not daring to let herself go... I ought to have _looked_, I
suppose, to see that he was leaving nothing behind, but one cannot
think of everything. And now I knew that Phyllida would start all
over again...
Yet one must _expect_ an occasional relapse...
"I've never heard it," I told her again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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