The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
We were called to the bar together--Gottlieb and I--to answer to
the charge against us in the very court-room where my partner had
won so many forensic victories and secured the acquittal of so many
clients more fortunate than he. From the outset of the case
everything went against us; and it seemed as if judge, prosecutor,
and jury were united in a conspiracy to deprive us of our rights
and to railroad us to prison. Even when impaneling the jury, I
was amazed to find the prejudice against criminal lawyers in general
and ourselves in particular; for almost every other talesman swore
that he was so fixed in his opinion as to our guilt that it would
be impossible to give us a fair trial.
At last, however, after several days a jury of twelve hard-faced
citizens was sworn who asserted that they had no bias against us
and could give us a fair trial and the benefit of every reasonable
doubt. Fair trial, indeed! We were convicted before the first
witness was sworn! Convicted by the press, the public, and the
atmosphere that had been stirred up against us during the preceding
months. And yet, one satisfaction remained to me, and that was
the sight of Hawkins and Dillingham on the grill under the cross-
examination of our attorneys. Dillingham particularly was a pitiable
object, shaking and sweating upon the witness chair, and forced to
admit that he had paid Gottlieb and me thirty-five thousand dollars
to get him an annulment so that he could marry the woman with whom
he was now living. The court-room was jammed to the doors with a
curious crowd, anxious to see Gottlieb and me on trial and to learn
the nature of the evidence against us; and when our client left
the stand--a pitiful, wilted human creature--and crawled out of
the room, a jeering throng followed him downstairs and out into
the street.
The actual giving of evidence occupied but two days, the chief
witness next to Hawkins being the clerk who swore the latter to
his affidavit in my office. This treacherous rascal not only
testified that Hawkins took his oath to the contents of the paper,
but at the same time had told me that it was false. The farce went
on, a mere formal giving of testimony, until at length the district
attorney announced that he had no more evidence to offer.
"You may proceed with the defence," said the judge, turning to our
counsel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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