The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
It so happened that we desired to have in court the following day
certain papers that were in his possession; and, in order that we
might be in a position to introduce copies of them in case he failed
to produce the originals, we secured what is called a _duces tecum_
subpoena for him--that is to say, a subpoena directing him to bring
with him--_duces tecum_--"bring with you"--the papers in question.
There had recently been appointed as a deputy marshal a very honest
and enthusiastic, but exceedingly ignorant Irishman named Hennessey,
who, prior to his advent into officialdom, had been employed at
heaving coal at a dollar and eighty cents a day. The clerk called
him into his office and handed to him our subpoena.
"Mike," he said, "here is a subpoena for Winthrop Van Rennsellaer"
--our worthy opponent. "It is a _duces tecum_. Understand?"
"Shure, I do!" answered Mike, wiping his mouth with the back of
his hand and taking the paper; for, though he had no idea of what
_duces tecum_ meant, he had no intention of disclosing the fact.
"It's important," continued the clerk. "Be sure and attend to the
matter at once."
"Lave that to me!" Mike assured him.
"Don't forget that it's a _duces tecum_," admonished the clerk as
Mike passed out of the door.
"Not on yer life!" replied the newly appointed deputy.
Outside, he found a fellow deputy, also newly appointed.
"Pat," said Mike, holding out the subpoena, "phat is the meanin'
o' thim two wurrds?"
His friend carefully examined the paper.
"'_Duces tecum_'," he repeated thoughtfully. "'_Dooces taycum_.'
They be Latin words meanin' 'take him alive or dead.'"
"Thanks," said Mike. "Trust me!"
And he started forthwith for Wall Street, where Mr. Winthrop Van
Rennsellaer's office was located. Having ascertained by inquiry
that his quarry was in, Mike pushed by the clerks and scriveners
in the outer offices and armed with the majesty of the law, boldly
forced his way into the lawyer's sanctum. Marching up to him, he
demanded in a loud voice:
"Are you Van Rennsellaer?"
The lawyer, exceedingly astonished, replied, with what dignity he
was able to assume under the circumstances;
"I am Mister Winthrop Van Rennsellaer."
"Come wid me!" ordered Mike.
"I shall do nothing of the kind!" retorted the lawyer, getting red
in the face.
"Y' won't, eh?" exclaimed the deputy; and, grasping Mr. Winthrop
Van Rennsellaer by his linen collar, he yanked him out of his chair
and, to the horror of the servile supernumeraries in the lawyer's
employ, dragged that eminent member of the bar through his own
offices, down the stairs, and into the street.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account