The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
The lawyer protested loudly at the indignities to which he was
being subjected and a large crowd gathered, which for the time
being blocked Broadway. Mike, confident that he had the authority
of the United States Government behind him, exhibited his badge,
called upon the police to assist him in the exercise of his duty
and proceeded triumphantly to march Mr. Winthrop Van Rennsellaer,
hatless, up the street at the head of a large and enthusiastic
procession of interested citizens. From time to time Mike would
turn and call upon the crowd to disperse, at the same time announcing
in a loud voice that he had arrested his prisoner by an order of
the Government to take him alive or dead.
By this time the lawyer's little round head was glowing a bright
red and his legs almost refused to carry him. Once they had arrived
at the Post-office Building the mistake was quickly discovered and
Mr. Van Rennsellaer was set at liberty; but each and every United
States judge had to descend in his robes from the bench and implore
his pardon before the furious little lawyer would consent to call
a cab and return to his office.
I understand that he always believed that the whole thing was a
trick of Gottlieb's to humiliate him; and, indeed, some members of
the bar have suspected me of the same thing--entirely without
justification, of course. During the rest of his exceedingly
distinguished career one had only to mention the words _duces tecum_
in the presence of Mr. Winthrop Van Rennsellaer to deprive him instantly
of his composure; in fact, for a long time he abandoned appearing
in court and contented himself with nursing his dignity in his
office. I should add that the incident so affected his confidence
the next day in court that we won our case without difficulty.
But to return to the unfortunate McDuff. To my great astonishment
and still more so to that of my partner the Court of Appeals handed
down an opinion sustaining my contention and holding his client's
conviction to be illegal. That night Gottlieb and I, sitting in
his office, shook our sides with laughter at the idea of having
hoodwinked the greatest court in the State into a solemn opinion
that a rogue should not be punished if at the same time he could
persuade his victim to try to be a rogue also! But there it was
in cold print. They had followed my reasoning absolutely and even
adopted as their own some of the language used in my brief. Does
any one of my readers doubt me, let him read the report of a like
case in the forty-sixth volume of the reports of the Court of
Appeals of New York, at page four hundred and seventy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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