The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Unfortunately for all parties, however, the "General" took exception
to the size of one of our bills and we parted with mutual
recriminations, although he had paid us many thousands of dollars
in fees and we had saved him many more in judgments. He still owed
us a large sum of money, but Gottlieb had tied up his property in
such a fashion that the old fellow was judgment-proof. He was thus
able to snap his fingers in our faces, a fact that naturally
intensified our hard feelings against him. We cherished our anger
until an appropriate occasion should present itself for getting
even with him, which occurred sooner than any of us, least of all
the "General," expected.
It so happened that one of the victims, having failed to "come
across" substantially enough, discovered very shortly another
libelous paragraph, which reflected very seriously upon his young
and attractive wife; and as it was pretty generally known at the
time that the "General" and ourselves had parted company, the
husband forthwith came to us for advice.
"Of course," said he ruefully, "I can't thrash a white-haired
villain who is old enough to be my grandfather, even if I could
get to him, which is unlikely. You know he has an inner office
'way off from the rest and sneaks in and out, up and down the back
stairs. A suit for libel wouldn't do any good and the publicity
would hurt more than the satisfaction I might get out of a verdict.
But vengeance I'll have--at any cost. How can I get it?"
Gottlieb pondered the matter for several days and at last sent for
his new client, at the same time making an appointment at our office
with a well-known feather-weight prize-fighter.
"If you will leave this matter to me I'll guarantee--for a thousand
dollars--that the 'General' shall receive as severe a pounding as
his old carcass can stand."
The client joyfully wrote out a check to our order and an hour
later Hennessey, the celebrated bantam, arrayed in the uniform of
an overgrown messenger boy, called with a letter at the "General's"
office and asked to see him. He had, he insisted, orders to deliver
the letter into nobody's hands but those of the "General" himself,
and on this pretext in due course found himself, after being led
through a labyrinth of passages and stairs, in the presence of our
ex-client.
"Are you General ----?" he inquired.
"That's my name," answered the "General."
"I've got a letter for yous," continued the bantam, fumbling in
his cap and producing two letters, one of which he handed over.
The "General" took it and his eye glinted for he perceived that it
was addressed to a very well-known member of society whose escapades
were notorious. Quickly he ran his penknife through the tongue of
the envelope.
"Hold on, there!" suddenly cried Hennessey. "I've give yous the
wrong letter. Here's yours. That one is for Mr. ----. Gimme it
back!"
"One moment, my boy!" replied the "General," hastily tearing open
the envelope. "Just one moment."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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