The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — CompleteLever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Complete
Lever, Charles
Fiction
“I suppose there is scarcely any one here now, except myself, that
remembers the great cause of Mills versus Mulcahy, a widow and others,
that was tried in Ennis, in the year ‘82. It’s no matter if there is
not. Perhaps it may be more agreeable for me, for I can tell my story
my own version, and not be interrupted. Well, that was called the old
record, for they tried it seventeen times. I believe, on my conscience,
it killed old Jones, who was in the Common Pleas; he used to say, if he
put it for trial on the day of judgment, one of the parties would be
sure to lodge an appeal. Be that as it may, the Millses engaged Peter
special, and brought him down with a great retainer, in a chaise and
four, flags flying, and favors in the postillions’ hats, and a fiddler
on the roof playing the ‘hare in the corn.’ The inn was illuminated the
same evening, and Peter made a speech from the windows upon the liberty
of the press and religious freedom all over the globe, and there wasn’t
a man in the mob didn’t cheer him, which was the more civil, because
few of them knew a word of English, and the others thought he was a
play-actor. But it all went off well, nevertheless, for Peter was a
clever fellow; and although he liked money well, he liked popularity
more, and he never went any where special that he hadn’t a public
meeting of some kind or other, either to abolish rents, or suppress
parsons, or some such popular and beneficial scheme, which always made
him a great favourite with the people, and got him plenty of clients.
But I am wandering from the record. Purcell came down, as I said
before, special for Mills; and when he looked over his brief, and
thought of the case, he determined to have it tried by a gentlemen
jury, for although he was a great man with the mob, he liked the
country gentlemen better in the jury box, for he was always coming out
with quotations from the classics, which, whether the grand jury
understood or not, they always applauded very much. Well, when he came
into court that morning, you may guess his surprise and mortification
to find that the same jury that had tried a common ejectment case, were
still in the box, and waiting, by the chief justice’s direction, to try
Mills versus Mulcahy, the great case of the assizes.
“I hear they were a set of common clod-hopping wretches, with frize
coats and brogues, that no man could get round at all, for they were as
cunning as foxes, and could tell blarney from good sense, rather better
than people with better coats on them.
“Now, the moment that Mr. Purcell came into the court, after bowing
politely to the judge, he looked up to the box, and when he saw the
dirty faces of the dealers in pork and potatoes, and the unshaven chins
of the small farmers, his heart fell within him, and he knew in a
minute how little they’d care for the classics—if he quoted Caesar’s
Commentaries itself for them—ignorant creatures as they were!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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