The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — CompleteLever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Complete
Lever, Charles
Fiction
If that extraordinary flutter and flurry of sensations which will now
and then seize you, when walking upon a lonely country road with a
pretty girl for your companion, whose arm is linked in yours, and whose
thoughts, as far you can guess at least, are travelling the same path
with your own—if this be animal magnetism, or one of its phenomena,
then do I swear by Mesmer, whatever it be, delusion or otherwise, it
has given me the brightest moments of my life—these are the real
“winged dreams” of pleasures which outlive others of more absorbing and
actual interest at the time. After all, for how many of our happiest
feelings are we indebted to the weakness of our nature. The man that is
wise at nineteen, “Je l’en fais mon compliment,” but I assuredly do not
envy him; and now, even now, when I number more years than I should
like to “confess,” rather than suffer the suspicious watchfulness of
age to creep on me, I prefer to “go on believing,” even though every
hour of the day should show me, duped and deceived. While I plead
guilty to this impeachment, let me show mitigation, that it has its
enjoyments—first, although I am the most constant and devoted man
breathing, as a very cursory glance at these confessions may prove, yet
I have never been able to restrain myself from a propensity to make
love, merely as a pastime. The gambler that sits down to play cards, or
hazard against himself, may perhaps be the only person that can
comprehend this tendency of mine. We both of us are playing for nothing
(or love, which I suppose is synonymous;) we neither of us put forth
our strength; for that very reason, and in fact like the waiter at
Vauxhall who was complimented upon the dexterity with which he poured
out the lemonade, and confessed that he spent his mornings “practising
with vater,” we pass a considerable portion of our lives in a mimic
warfare, which, if it seem unprofitable, is, nevertheless, pleasant.
After all this long tirade, need I say how our walk proceeded? We had
fallen into a kind of discussion upon the singular intimacy which had
so rapidly grown up amongst us, and which years long might have failed
to engender. Our attempts to analyse the reasons for, and the nature of
the friendship thus so suddenly established—a rather dangerous and
difficult topic, when the parties are both young—one eminently
handsome, and the other disposed to be most agreeable. Oh, my dear
young friends of either sex, whatever your feelings be for one another,
keep them to yourselves; I know of nothing half so hazardous as that
“comparing of notes” which sometimes happens. Analysis is a beautiful
thing in mathematics or chemistry, but it makes sad havoc when applied
to the “functions of the heart.”
“Mamma appears to have forgotten us,” said Isabella, as she spoke,
after walking for some time in silence beside me.
“Oh, depend upon it, the carriage has taken all this time to repair;
but are you tired?”
“Oh, by no means; the evening is delightful, but—”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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