The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — CompleteLever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Complete
Lever, Charles
Fiction
“It was during the vice-royalty of the late Duke of Richmond that the
incidents I am about to mention took place. That was a few years since,
and I was rather younger, and a little more particular about my dress
than at present.” Here the little man cast an eye of stoical
satisfaction upon his uncouth habiliments, that nearly made us forget
our compact, and laugh outright. “Well, in those wild and headstrong
days of youthful ardour, I fell in love—desperately in love—and as
always is, I believe, the case with our early experiments in that
unfortunate passion, the object of my affection was in every way
unsuited to me. She was a tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed maiden, with a
romantic imagination, and a kind of a half-crazed poetic fervour, that
often made me fear for her intellect. I’m a short, rather fat—I was
always given this way”—here he patted a waistcoat that would fit Dame
Lambert—“happy-minded little fellow, that liked my supper of oysters at
the Pigeon-house, and my other creature-comforts, and hated every thing
that excited or put one out of one’s way, just as I would have hated a
blister. Then, the devil would have it—for as certainly as marriages
are made in heaven, flirtations have something to say to the other
place—that I should fall most irretrievably in love with Lady Agnes
Moreton. Bless my soul, it absolutely puts me in a perspiration this
hot day, just to think over all I went through on her account; for,
strange to say, the more I appeared to prosper in her good graces, the
more did she exact on my part; the pursuit was like Jacob’s ladder—if
it did lead to heaven it was certainly an awfully long journey, and
very hard on one’s legs. There was not an amusement she could think of,
no matter how unsuited to my tastes or my abilities, that she did not
immediately take a violent fancy to; and then there was no escaping,
and I was at once obliged to go with the tide, and heaven knows if it
would not have carried me to my grave if it were not for the fortunate
(I now call it) accident that broke off the affair for ever. One time
she took a fancy for yachting, and all the danglers about her—and she
always had a cordon of them—young aides-de-camp of her father the
general, and idle hussars, in clanking sabertasches and most absurd
mustachios—all approved of the taste, and so kept filling her mind with
anecdotes of corsairs and smugglers, that at last nothing would satisfy
her till I—I who always would rather have waited for low water, and
waded the Liffey in all its black mud, than cross over in the
ferry-boat, for fear of sickness—I was obliged to put an advertisement
in the newspaper for a pleasure-boat, and, before three weeks, saw
myself owner of a clinker-built schooner, of forty-eight tons, that by
some mockery of fortune was called ‘The Delight.’ I wish you saw me, as
you might have done every morning for about a month, as I stood on the
Custom-house quay, giving orders for the outfit of the little craft. At
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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