The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — CompleteRousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
appearing myself: for once I was at ease, my heart, eyes and tongue,
spoke freely what I felt; never did I make better reparation for my
mistakes, and if this little conquest had cost Madam de Larnage some
difficulties, I have reason to believe she did not regret them.
Was I to live a hundred years, I should never forget this charming
woman. I say charming, for though neither young nor beautiful, she
was neither old nor ugly, having nothing in her appearance that could
prevent her wit and accomplishments from producing all their effects. It
was possible to see her without falling in love, but those she favored
could not fail to adore her; which proves, in my opinion, that she was
not generally so prodigal of her favors. It is true, her inclination for
me was so sudden and lively, that it scarce appears excusable; though
from the short, but charming interval I passed with her, I have reason
to think her heart was more influenced than her passions.
Our good intelligence did not escape the penetration of the marquis; not
that he discontinued his usual raillery; on the contrary, he treated
me as a sighing, hopeless swain, languishing under the rigors of his
mistress; not a word, smile, or look escaped him by which I could
imagine he suspected my happiness; and I should have thought
him completely deceived, had not Madam de Larnage, who was more
clear-sighted than myself, assured me of the contrary; but he was a
well-bred man, and it was impossible to behave with more attention
or greater civility, than he constantly paid me (notwithstanding his
satirical sallies), especially after my success, which, as he was
unacquainted with my stupidity, he perhaps gave me the honor of
achieving. It has already been seen that he was mistaken in this
particular; but no matter, I profited by his error, for being conscious
that the laugh was on my side, I took all his sallies in good part,
and sometimes parried them with tolerable success; for, proud of the
reputation of wit which Madam de Larnage had thought fit to discover in
me, I no longer appeared the same man.
We were both in a country and season of plenty, and had everywhere
excellent cheer, thanks to the good cares of the marquis; though I would
willingly have relinquished this advantage to have been more satisfied
with the situation of our chambers; but he always sent his footman on
to provide them; and whether of his own accord, or by the order of his
master, the rogue always took care that the marquis’ chamber should be
close by Madam de Larnage’s, while mine was at the further end of the
house: but that made no great difference, or perhaps it rendered our
rendezvous the more charming; this happiness lasted four or five days,
during which time I was intoxicated with delight, which I tasted pure
and serene without any alloy; an advantage I could never boast before;
and, I may add, it is owing to Madam de Larnage that I did not go out of
the world without having tasted real pleasure.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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