The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — CompleteRousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
I am inclined to think I suffered at that time by the same interested
game of concealed manoeuvre, which has counteracted me throughout my
life, and given me a very natural aversion for everything that has
the least appearance of it. Madam de Vercellis having no children,
her nephew, the Count de la Roque, was her heir, and paid his court
assiduously, as did her principal domestics, who, seeing her end
approaching, endeavored to take care of themselves; in short, so many
were busy about her, that she could hardly have found time to think of
me. At the head of her household was a M. Lorenzy, an artful genius,
with a still more artful wife; who had so far insinuated herself into
the good graces of her mistress, that she was rather on the footing of
a friend than a servant. She had introduced a niece of hers as lady’s
maid: her name was Mademoiselle Pontal; a cunning gypsy, that gave
herself all the airs of a waiting-woman, and assisted her aunt so well
in besetting the countess, that she only saw with their eyes, and acted
through their hands. I had not the happiness to please this worthy
triumvirate; I obeyed, but did not wait on them, not conceiving that
my duty to our general mistress required me to be a servant to her
servants. Besides this, I was a person that gave them some inquietude;
they saw I was not in my proper situation, and feared the countess would
discover it likewise, and by placing me in it, decrease their portions;
for such sort of people, too greedy to be just, look on every legacy
given to others as a diminution of their own wealth; they endeavored,
therefore, to keep me as much out of her sight as possible. She loved
to write letters, in her situation, but they contrived to give her a
distaste to it; persuading her, by the aid of the doctor, that it was
too fatiguing; and, under pretence that I did not understand how to wait
on her, they employed two great lubberly chairmen for that purpose; in
a word, they managed the affair so well, that for eight days before she
made her will, I had not been permitted to enter the chamber. Afterwards
I went in as usual, and was even more assiduous than any one, being
afflicted at the sufferings of the unhappy lady, whom I truly respected
and beloved for the calmness and fortitude with which she bore her
illness, and often did I shed tears of real sorrow without being
perceived by any one.
At length we lost her--I saw her expire. She had lived like a woman of
sense and virtue, her death was that of a philosopher. I can truly say,
she rendered the Catholic religion amiable to me by the serenity with
which she fulfilled its dictates, without any mixture of negligence
or affectation. She was naturally serious, but towards the end of her
illness she possessed a kind of gayety, too regular to be assumed, which
served as a counterpoise to the melancholy of her situation. She only
kept her bed two days, continuing to discourse cheerfully with those
about her to the very last.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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