The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — CompleteRousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
The first glance of Madam de Warens banished all my fears--my heart
leaped at the sound of her voice; I threw myself at her feet, and in
transports of the most lively joy, pressed my lips upon her hand. I
am ignorant whether she had received any recent information of me. I
discovered but little surprise on her countenance, and no sorrow. “Poor
child!” said she, in an affectionate tone, “art thou here again? I knew
you were too young for this journey; I am very glad, however, that it
did not turn out so bad as I apprehended.” She then made me recount my
history; it was not long, and I did it faithfully: suppressing only some
trifling circumstances, but on the whole neither sparing nor excusing
myself.
The question was, where I could lodge: she consulted her maid on this
point--I hardly dared to breathe during the deliberation; but when I
heard I was to sleep in the house, I could scarce contain my joy;
and saw the little bundle I brought with me carried into my destined
apartment with much the same sensations as St. Preux saw his chaise put
up at Madam de Wolmar’s. To complete all, I had the satisfaction to
find that this favor was not to be transitory; for at a moment when they
thought me attentive to something else, I heard Madam de Warens say,
“They may talk as they please, but since Providence has sent him back, I
am determined not to abandon him.”
Behold me, then, established at her house; not, however, that I date the
happiest days of my life from this period, but this served to prepare
me for them. Though that sensibility of heart, which enables us truly
to enjoy our being, is the work of Nature, and perhaps a mere effect of
organization, yet it requires situations to unfold itself, and without a
certain concurrence of favorable circumstances, a man born with the
most acute sensibility may go out of the world without ever having been
acquainted with his own temperament. This was my case till that time,
and such perhaps it might have remained had I never known Madam de
Warens, or even having known her, had I not remained with her long
enough to contract that pleasing habit of affectionate sentiments with
which she inspired me. I dare affirm, that those who only love, do not
feel the most charming sensations we are capable of: I am acquainted
with another sentiment, less impetuous, but a thousand times more
delightful; sometimes joined with love, but frequently separated from
it. This feeling is not simply friendship; it is more enchanting, more
tender; nor do I imagine it can exist between persons of the same sex;
at least I have been truly a friend, if ever a man was, and yet never
experienced it in that kind. This distinction is not sufficiently clear,
but will become so hereafter: sentiments are only distinguishable by
their effects.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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