The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — CompleteRousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
I know not when I should have done, if I was to enter into a detail
of all the follies that affection for my dear Madam de Warens made
me commit. When absent from her, how often have I kissed the bed on a
supposition that she had slept there; the curtains and all the furniture
of my chamber, on recollecting they were hers, and that her charming
hands had touched them; nay, the floor itself, when I considered she had
walked there. Sometimes even in her presence, extravagancies escaped me,
which only the most violent passions seemed capable of inspiring; in a
word, there was but one essential difference to distinguish me from
an absolute lover, and that particular renders my situation almost
inconceivable.
I had returned from Italy, not absolutely as I went there, but as no
one of my age, perhaps, ever did before, being equally unacquainted
with women. My ardent constitution had found resources in those means
by which youth of my disposition sometimes preserve their purity at
the expense of health, vigor, and frequently of life itself. My local
situation should likewise be considered--living with a pretty woman,
cherishing her image in the bottom of my heart, seeing her during
the whole day, at night surrounded with objects that recalled her
incessantly to my remembrance, and sleeping in the bed where I knew she
had slept. What a situation! Who can read this without supposing me on
the brink of the grave? But quite the contrary; that which might have
ruined me, acted as a preservative, at least for a time. Intoxicated
with the charm of living with her, with the ardent desire of passing my
life there, absent or present I saw in her a tender mother, an amiable
sister, a respected friend, but nothing more; meantime, her image filled
my heart, and left room far no other object. The extreme tenderness with
which she inspired me excluded every other woman from my consideration,
and preserved me from the whole sex: in a word, I was virtuous, because
I loved her. Let these particulars, which I recount but indifferently,
be considered, and then let any one judge what kind of attachment I had
for her: for my part, all I can say, is, that if it hitherto appears
extraordinary, it will appear much more so in the sequel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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