Ultra-exclusives! those of you who are most deeply impressed with the desirability of keeping us in our proper places, and are offended if we pass "between the wind and your nobility," to you most of all do I address myself, and take the liberty of saying that on _you_ rests the onus of providing better and more healthy recreations for us; for needs must that at times the most fastidious of you will find yourselves in the midst of us, and it will interest you even more deeply than others that we should not sink into unmitigated and universal rascaldom, the only natural goal at which the pursuit of such pleasures as those above-named is likely to land us. Give us attractions of a less baneful character, and wean us from these cesspools of infamy. To you it is specially important that this matter should receive attention. Do not, however, seek to do the work half-way; do not attempt to take away the means of recreation we have--evil as they are--until substitutes are furnished; it will not be convenient to you that the people should have too much time to _brood_; it will be safer for you that we should be _mercurial_ rather than that we should be _morose_; in one mood or the other, however you may strive to ignore us, we shall continue to exist in tangible form and be distinctly visible to your perceptions. I like not threats or innuendoes, however, and say no more concerning this matter. Time was when holy-days were frequent, when gorgeous pageants feasted the eyes of our forefathers--times of Maypoles and morrice-dancers, of roasted oxen and sheep, of conduits running with wine and milk: I say not I wish these to return. Much I fear that all was not pure, pastoral, Arcadian simplicity amidst these poetic scenes, fascinating as they are to the imagination. I doubt not the taint of vice was there, and the ghastly presence of misery and sorrow, and I do not regret them--let them go. What, then, do I suggest? Aware of the risk I run in having it imputed to me that my suggestions have already been too numerous, I will, with brevity, venture yet one more. Repetition is vexatious; notwithstanding which, unification is imperative, and committees must again be called into requisition. Cricket-clubs, quoit-clubs, bowling-clubs, even skittle-clubs _ad libitum_, in summer; ballad concerts, dramatic performances, &c., in winter, under the same auspices. Membership extended to all comers, fee payable one shilling per annum in monthly instalments; the expulsion or suspension for a longer or shorter term--according to the more or less heinous nature of the offence--of any member for bad language, intoxication, or other misbehaviour; the gradual unbending of the rich and the cultured, and their condescending to grace the sports with their occasional presence, thereby infusing a spirit of refinement into them; the prohibition of betting or _over_-drinking,--these are, shortly and imperfectly stated, the remedies I would suggest.