There was a shop occupied by a dealer in paintings, engravings, intaglios, old crockery, and _Bric-a-brac_-ery generally, down the Via Condotti, and into this shop Mr. William Browne, of St. Louis, one morning found his way. He had been induced to enter by reading in the window, written on a piece of paper, 'A REEL TITIANO FOR SAL,' and as he wisely surmised that the dealer intended to notify the English that he had a painting by Titian for sale, he went in to see it. Unfortunately for Mr. Browne, familiarly known as Uncle Bill, he had one of those faces that invariably induced Roman tradesmen to resort to the Oriental mode of doing business, namely, charging three hundred per cent profit; and as this dealer having formerly been a courier, commissionaire and pander to English and American travelers, naturally spoke a disgusting jargon of Italianized English, and had what he believed were the most distinguished manners: _he_ charged five hundred per cent. 'I want,' said Uncle Bill to the 'brick-Bat' man, 'to see your Titian.' 'I shall expose 'im to you in one moment, sare; you walk this way. He's var' fine pickshoor, var' fine. You ben long time in Rome, sare?' No reply from Uncle Bill: his idea was, even a wise man may ask questions, but none but fools answer fools. Brick-bat man finds that his customer has ascended the human scale one step; he prepares 'to spring dodge' Number two on him. 'Thare, sar, thare is Il Tiziano! I spose you say you see notheeng bote large peas board: zat peas board was one table for two, tree hundret yars; all zat time ze pickshoor was unbeknounst undair ze table. Zey torn up ze table, and you see a none-doubted Tiziano. Var' fine pickshoor!' 'Do you know,' asked Uncle Bill, 'if it was in a temperance family all that time?' 'I am not acquent zat word, demprance--wot it means?' 'Sober,' was the answer. 'Yas, zat was in var' sobair fam'ly--in convent of nons.' 'That will account for its being undiscovered so long--all the world knows they are not inquisitive! If it had been in a drinking-house, some body falling under the table would have seen it--wouldn't they?' Brick-bat reflects, and comes to the conclusion that the 'eldairly cove' is wider-awake than he believed him, at first sight. 'Now I torne zis board you see on ze othaire side, ze Bella Donna of Tiziano. Zere is one in ze Sciarra palace, bote betwane you and I, I don't believe it is gin'wine.' 'I don't know much about paintings,' spoke Uncle Bill, 'but I know I've seen seventy-six of these Belli Donners, and each one was sworn to as the original picture!'