The Continental Monthly, Vol. III, No. V, May, 1863: Devoted to Literature and National PolicyVarious
History
The Continental Monthly, Vol. III, No. V, May, 1863: Devoted to Literature and National Policy
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; United States -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Periodicals
One morning I left Miriam's bedside, and walked through the village in
order to get some exercise, and breathe the fresh air. I remember the
day well. It was in the latter part of May--a warm, sweet, sunny day,
with enough of chilliness in the air to give a zest to walking. I was
surprised at the ripeness and luxuriance of the foliage, so early for a
New England spring; but I was still more surprised at the aspect of our
usually silent village. The streets were full of men hurrying to and
fro, and groups of men, and women, too, stood at some of the corners. To
my utter amazement I learned that Annie had disappeared mysteriously the
night before. She had left home alone early in the evening, saying she
was going to the river, and had not returned. Search was made for her
during the night in all the houses of the village; that morning the
river had been dragged; but not the slightest trace of Annie was
anywhere to be found. Of course everybody was in a state of intense
excitement. Ackermann was represented to me as almost distracted with
grief, but he had been active in conducting the search for her.
I thought it best to tell this to Miriam as soon as I returned. It
produced a strange effect upon her. It gave her a most intense desire
for life.
'I do not desire life for myself,' said she to me, the next day, 'nor
for any happiness it could confer upon me, for it has no gift that I
value; but I wish to live that I may show Ackermann to the world, as he
is, false, and cruel, and revengeful. I feel that I would have the power
to do it, had I but health and strength; but what can a dead body do?
Can the soul return to it again? Where does the soul go?'
I made no reply to this. I had gone over this ground very often with
Miriam. It was not strange that one who had had such remarkable mental
experiences should be a believer in spiritual agencies. She was also a
firm believer in all the doctrines of the Bible, but she always
maintained that this sacred book nowhere taught that the soul, on its
release from the body, went directly to heaven. She argued that it was
_impossible_ for it to go there immediately. Then where did it go? These
ideas disposed her to a mystical kind of reading, with which I did not
sympathize, and in which I never indulged.
I stood at the window some time, looking out, but seeing nothing, for I
was thinking how strange it was that two girls so entirely opposite as
Miriam and Annie should love the same man, and he so different from
both. I was aroused by Miriam's voice hurriedly calling me. I hastened
to her side. Never shall I forget her eyes as she fixed them upon me.
The pupils were dilated, and intensely black, while they shone so
brilliantly that it seemed as if a fire were burning within them. She
spoke eagerly:
'Promise me once more, Hester, that you will not leave my body, after
the soul has left it, until it is laid in the grave, and that you will
not let idle curiosity come and gaze at it.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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