JESSAMY. Oh! yes, Mr. Jonathan; here it is. [_Takes out a book._] Oh! no, this is only a titter with its variations. Ah, here it is. [_Takes out another._] Now, you must know, Mr. Jonathan, this is a piece written by Ben Johnson [_sic_], which I have set to my master's gamut. The places where you must smile, look grave, or laugh outright, are marked below the line. Now look over me. "There was a certain man"--now you must smile. JONATHAN. Well, read it again; I warrant I'll mind my eye. JESSAMY. "There was a certain man, who had a sad scolding wife,"--now you must laugh. JONATHAN. Tarnation! That's no laughing matter though. JESSAMY. "And she lay sick a-dying;"--now you must titter. JONATHAN. What, snigger when the good woman's a-dying! Gor, I-- JESSAMY. Yes, the notes say you must--"And she asked her husband leave to make a will,"--now you must begin to look grave;--"and her husband said"-- JONATHAN. Aye, what did her husband say?--Something dang'd cute, I reckon. JESSAMY. "And her husband said, you have had your will all your life-time, and would you have it after you are dead, too?" JONATHAN. Ho, ho, ho! There the old man was even with her; he was up to the notch--ha, ha, ha! JESSAMY. But, Mr. Jonathan, you must not laugh so. Why, you ought to have tittered _piano_, and you have laughed _fortissimo_. Look here; you see these marks, A, B, C, and so on; these are the references to the other part of the book. Let us turn to it, and you will see the directions how to manage the muscles. This [_Turns over._] was note D you blundered at.--"You must purse the mouth into a smile, then titter, discovering the lower part of the three front upper teeth." JONATHAN. How? read it again. JESSAMY. "There was a certain man"--very well!--"who had a sad scolding wife,"--why don't you laugh? JONATHAN. Now, that scolding wife sticks in my gizzard so pluckily that I can't laugh for the blood and nowns of me. Let me look grave here, and I'll laugh your belly full, where the old creature's a-dying. JESSAMY. "And she asked her husband"--[_Bell rings._] My master's bell! he's returned, I fear.--Here, Mr. Jonathan, take this gamut; and I make no doubt but with a few years' close application, you may be able to smile gracefully. [_Exeunt severally._ SCENE II. _CHARLOTTE'S Apartment._ _Enter MANLY._ MANLY. What, no one at home? How unfortunate to meet the only lady my heart was ever moved by, to find her engaged to another, and confessing her partiality for me! Yet engaged to a man who, by her intimation, and his libertine conversation with me, I fear, does not merit her. Aye! there's the sting; for, were I assured that Maria was happy, my heart is not so selfish but that it would dilate in knowing it, even though it were with another. But to know she is unhappy!--I must drive these thoughts from me. Charlotte has some books; and this is what I believe she calls her little library.