The Cords of Vanity: A Comedy of ShirkingCabell, James Branch
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The Cords of Vanity: A Comedy of Shirking
Cabell, James Branch
Authors -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
She reached for it. Our hands touched, with the usual result to my
pulses. Also, there were the customary manual tinglings.
"You are very kind," was her observation, "for I am wondering which one
of the two he will marry."
"Forman tells me he has no notion, himself."
"Oh, then you know Justus Miles Forman! How nice! I think his stories
are just splendid, especially the way his heroes talk to photographs and
handkerchiefs and dead flowers--"
Afterward she opened the book, and turned over its pages expectantly,
and flushed a proper shade of pink, and said nothing.
And then, and not till then, my heart consented to resume its normal
functions. And then, also, "These iron spikes--" said its owner.
"Yes?" she queried, innocently.
"--so humpy," I complained.
"Are they?" said she. "Why, then, how silly of you to continue to sit on
them!"
The result of this comment was that we were both late for luncheon.
4
By a peculiar coincidence, at twelve o'clock the following day, I
happened to be sitting on the same wall at the same spot. Peter said at
luncheon it was a queer thing that some people never could manage to be
on time for their meals.
I fancy we can all form a tolerably accurate idea of what took place
during the next day or so.
It is scarcely necessary to retail our conversations. We gossiped of
simple things. We talked very little; and, when we did talk, the most
ambitiously preambled sentences were apt to result in nothing more
prodigious than a wave of the hand, and a pause, and, not infrequently,
a heightened complexion. Altogether, then, it was not oppressively wise
or witty talk, but it was eminently satisfactory to its makers.
As when, on the third morning, I wished to sit by Margaret on the bench,
and she declined to invite me to descend from the wall.
"On the whole," said she, "I prefer you where you are; like all
picturesque ruins, you are most admirable at a little distance."
"Ruins!"--and, indeed, I was not yet twenty-six,--"I am a comparatively
young man."
As a concession, "In consideration of your past, you are tolerably well
preserved."
"--and I am not a new brand of marmalade, either."
"No, for that comes in glass jars; whereas, Mr. Townsend, I have heard,
is more apt to figure in family ones."
"A pun, Miss Beechinor, is the base coinage of conversation tendered
only by the mentally dishonest."
"--Besides, one can never have enough of marmalade."
"I trust they give you a sufficiency of it in the nursery?"
"Dear me, you have no idea how admirably that paternal tone sits upon
you! You would make an excellent father, Mr. Townsend. You really ought
to adopt someone. I wish you would adopt _me_, Mr. Townsend."
I said I had other plans for her. Discreetly, she forbore to ask what
they were.
5
"Avis--"
"You must not call me that."
"Why not? It's your name, isn't it"
"Yes,--to my friends."
"Aren't we friends--Avis?"
"We! We have not known each other long enough, Mr. Townsend."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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