The Cornhill Magazine (Vol. I, No. 4, April 1860)Various
General
The Cornhill Magazine (Vol. I, No. 4, April 1860)
Various
England -- Periodicals; English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
My old man and my little girl were not amongst the happy buyers, or the
richly dressed, for they were evidently very poor. They had wandered
into the bazaar to feast upon its sights, and it was difficult to say
which was the more entranced of the two. The old man gazed about him,
with a vacant, gratified smile upon his face, and the child was too young
to know that any barrier existed to prevent her plucking the tempting
fruit which she saw hanging in clusters on every side. This barrier—the
old, thick, black, impassable barrier of poverty—though invisible to the
child, was not invisible to me; and I blamed the old man for turning her
steps into such a glittering enchanted cavern, whose walls were really
lined, to her, with bitterness and despair.
“Why don’t we live here, gran’da?” asked the child. The old man gave no
other answer than a weak laugh.
“Why don’t I have a house like that?” continued the child, pointing to
a bright doll’s-house displayed upon a stall, and trying to drag her
guardian towards it.
The old man still only laughed feebly, as he shuffled past the
attraction, and before the thought had struck me that I might have
purchased a cheap pleasure by giving this house to the child, they were
both lost in the pushing, laughing crowd.
This incident naturally set me thinking about toys, and their effect
in increasing the amount of human happiness. I asked myself if I, ——,
a respectable, middle-aged man of moderate means, was free from the
influence of these powerful trifles. I was compelled, in all the cheap
honesty of self-examination, to answer “No.” I felt, upon reflection,
that I was even weaker than the poor child I had just seen. The chief
toy that I was seeking for was an ideal house that I had never been
able to find. I was led away by a vague sentiment about the poetry of
neighbourhoods—a secret consuming passion for red-brick—a something
that could hardly be weighed or spanned; the echo of an old song; the
mists of a picture; the shadow of a dream. She was led away by no
such unsubstantial phantoms. Her eyes had suddenly rested, for a few
moments, upon her childish paradise, and a few shillings would have made
her happy. I, on the contrary, had exhausted years in searching for my
paradise, but without a prospect of success.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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