The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916)Various
History
The Cornhill Magazine, (vol. XLI, no. 243 new series, September 1916)
Various
England -- Periodicals; English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
But the divergences between them were great; the possibilities of
friction many. Falloden was astonished to find that he disliked Otto’s
little fopperies and eccentricities quite as much as he had ever done
in college days; his finicking dress, his foreign ways in eating, his
tendency to boast about his music, his country, and his forebears, on
his good days, balanced by a brooding irritability on his bad days. And
he was conscious that his own ways and customs were no less teasing
to Radowitz; his Tory habits of thought, his British contempt for
vague sentimentalisms and heroics, for all that _panache_ means to the
Frenchman, or ‘glory’ to the Slav.
‘Then why, in the name of common sense, are we living together?’
He could really give no answer but the answer of ‘necessity’--of
a spiritual ἀνάγκη[ananki]--issuing from a strange tangle of
circumstance. The helpless form, the upturned face of his dying
father, seemed to make the centre of it, and those faint last words,
so sharply, and as it were, dynamically connected with the hateful
memory of Otto’s fall and cry in the Marmion Quad, and the hateful
ever-present fact of his maimed life. Constance too--his scene with
her on the river bank--her letter breaking with him--and then the soft
mysterious change in her--and that passionate involuntary promise in
her eyes and voice, as they stood together in her aunts’ garden--all
these various elements, bitter and sweet, were mingled in the influence
which was shaping his own life. He wanted to forgive himself; and he
wanted Constance to forgive him, whether she married him or no. A kind
of sublimated egotism, he said to himself, after all!
But Otto? What had really made him consent to take up daily life with
the man to whom he owed his disaster? Falloden seemed occasionally to
be on the track of an explanation, which would then vanish and evade
him. He was conscious, however, that here also, Constance Bledlow
was somehow concerned; and, perhaps, the Pole’s mystical religion.
He asked himself, indeed, as Constance had already done, whether
some presentiment of doom, together with the Christian doctrines of
forgiveness and vicarious suffering, were not at the root of it? There
had been certain symptoms apparent during Otto’s last weeks at Penfold
known only to the old vicar, to himself and Sorell. The doctors were
not convinced yet of the presence of phthisis; but from various signs,
Falloden was inclined to think that the boy believed himself sentenced
to the same death which had carried off his mother. Was there then a
kind of calculated charity in his act also--but aiming in his case at
an eternal reward?
‘He wants to please God--and comfort Constance--by forgiving me. I want
to please her--and relieve myself, by doing something to make up to
him. He has the best of it! But we are neither of us disinterested.’
* * * * *
The manservant came out with a cup of coffee.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account