The hansom stopped before his brick and marble palace. The butler
hurried out and helped him alight--not yet thirty-seven, he felt as if
he were a dying old man. "Pay the cabby," he said and groped his way
into the house and to the elevator and mechanically ran himself up to
his floor. His valet was in his dressing-room. He waved him away.
"Get out! And don't disturb me till I ring."
"The doctor--" began Mallow.
"Do as I tell you!"
When he was alone he poured out brandy and gulped it down a drink that
might have eaten the lining straight out of a stomach less powerful
than his. He went from door to door, locking them all. Then he seated
himself in a lounging-chair before the long mirror. He stared toward
the image of himself but was so dim-eyed that he could see nothing but
spinning black disks. "Life's not such a good game even when a man's
winning," he said aloud. "A rotten bad game when he's losing."
His head wabbled to fall forward but he roused himself. "Wife gone--"
The tears flooded his eyes--tears of pity for himself, an injured and
abandoned husband. "Wife gone," he repeated. "Friends gone--" He
laughed sardonically. "No, never had friends, thank God, or I
shouldn't have lasted this long. No such thing as friends--a man gets
what he can pay for. Grip gone--luck gone! What's the use?"
He dozed off, presently to start into acute, shuddering consciousness.
At the far end of the room, stirring, slowly oozing from under the
divan was a--a Thing! He could not define its shape, but he knew that
it was vast, that it was scaly, with many short fat legs tipped with
claws; that its color was green, that its purpose was hideous, gleaming
in craft from large, square, green-yellow eyes. He wiped the sticky
sweat from his brow. "It's only the brandy," he said loudly, and the
Thing faded, vanished. He drew a deep breath of relief.
He went to a case of drawers and stood before it, supporting himself by
the handles of the second drawer. "Yes," he reflected, "the revolver's
in that drawer." He released the handles and staggered back to his
chair. "I'm crazy," he muttered, "crazy as a loon. I ought to ring
for the doctor."
In a moment he was up again, but instead of going toward the bell he
went to the drawers and opened the second one. In a compartment lay a
pearl-handled, self-cocking revolver. He put his hand on it, shivered,
drew his hand away--the steel and the pearl were cold. He closed the
drawer with a quick push, opened it again slowly, took up the revolver,
staggered over to his desk and laid it there. His face was chalk-white
in spots and his eyes were stiff in their sockets. He rested his
aching, burning, reeling head on his hands and stared at the revolver.
"But," he said aloud, as if contemptuously dismissing a suggestion,
"why should I shoot myself? I can smash 'em all--to powder--grind 'em
into the dirt."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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