The counterfeiters : $b (Les faux-monnayeurs)Gide, André
General
The counterfeiters : $b (Les faux-monnayeurs)
Gide, André
Counterfeiters -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
Passavant is a delightful companion; he isn’t at all stuck up about
his title; he likes me to call him Robert; and the name he has
invented for me is Olive--isn’t it charming? He does all he can
to make me forget his age and I assure you he does. My mother was
rather alarmed at the idea of my going away with him, for she hardly
knows him at all. I hesitated at first for fear of distressing her.
Before your letter came I had almost given it up. Vincent persuaded
her, however, and your letter suddenly gave me courage. We spent the
last days before starting in doing a round of shops. Passavant is so
generous that he is always wanting to give me things and I had to stop
him all the time. But he thought my wretched rags frightful; shirts,
ties, socks--nothing I had pleased him; he kept repeating that if we
were to spend some time together, it would be too painful to him not
to see me properly dressed--that is to say, as he likes. Naturally
everything we bought was sent to his house, for fear of making my
mother uncomfortable. He himself is exquisitely elegant; but above all
his taste is very good, and a great many things which I used to think
quite bearable now seem odious to me. You can’t imagine how amusing he
was in the shops. He is really very witty. I should like to give you
an idea of it. One day, we were at Brentano’s, where he was having a
fountain pen mended. There was a huge Englishman just behind him who
wanted to be served before his turn, and as Robert pushed him away
rather roughly, he began to jabber something or other in his lingo;
Robert turned round very calmly and said:
“It’s not a bit of use. I don’t understand English.”
The Englishman was in a rage and answered back in the purest French:
“Then you ought to.”
To which Robert answered with a polite smile:
“I told you it wasn’t a bit of use.”
The Englishman was boiling over, but he hadn’t another word to say. It
was killing.
Another day we were at the Olympia. During the _entr’acte_ we
were in the promenade with a lot of prostitutes walking round. Two of
them--rather decayed looking creatures--accosted him:
“Stand us a glass of beer, dearie?”
We sat down at a table with them.
“Waiter! A glass of beer for these ladies.”
“And for you and the young gentleman, sir?”
“Oh, for us? We’ll take champagne,” he said carelessly. He ordered a
bottle of Moët, and we blew it all to ourselves. You should have seen
the poor things’ faces!... I think he has a loathing for prostitutes.
He confided to me that he has never been inside a brothel, and gave me
to understand that he would be very angry with me if I ever went. So
you see he’s perfectly all right in spite of his airs and his cynical
talk--as, for instance, when he says he calls it a “dull day” if he
hasn’t met at least five people before lunch, with whom he wants to go
to bed. (I must tell you by the way, that I haven’t tried again ...
you know what.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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