England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Upper class families -- England -- Fiction
George took the cup, and like a cat spying a mouse, Mrs. Pendyce watched
him take it out into the garden. As the door closed, quicker, more
noiseless than a cat, she slipped behind the curtains.
'. know he has a pistol,' she thought.
She was back in an instant, gliding round the room, hunting with her
eyes and hands, but she saw nothing, and her heart lightened, for she
was terrified of all such things.
'.t's only these terrible first hours,' she thought.
When George came back she was standing where he had left her. They
sat down in silence, and in that silence, the longest of her life, she
seemed to feel all that was in his heart, all the blackness and bitter
aching, the rage of defeat and starved possession, the lost delight,
the sensation of ashes and disgust; and yet her heart was full enough
already of relief and shame, compassion, jealousy, love, and deep
longing. Only twice was the silence broken. Once when he asked her
whether she had lunched, and she who had eaten nothing all day answered:
“Yes, dear--yes.”
Once when he said:
“You shouldn't have come here, Mother; I'm a bit out of sorts!”
She watched his face, dearest to her in all the world, bent towards the
floor, and she so yearned to hold it to her breast that, since she
dared not, the tears stole up, and silently rolled down her cheeks. The
stillness in that room, chosen for remoteness, was like the stillness
of a tomb, and, as in a tomb, there was no outlook on the world, for the
glass of the skylight was opaque.
That deathly stillness settled round her heart; her eyes fixed
themselves on the skylight, as though beseeching it to break and let
in sound. A cat, making a pilgrimage from roof to roof, the four dark
moving spots of its paws, the faint blur of its body, was all she saw.
And suddenly, unable to bear it any longer, she cried:
“Oh, George, speak to me! Don't put me away from you like this!”
George answered:
“What do you want me to say, Mother?”
“Nothing--only----”
And falling on her knees beside her son, she pulled his head down
against her breast, and stayed rocking herself to and fro, silently
shifting closer till she could feel his head lie comfortably; so, she
had his face against her heart, and she could not bear to let it go. Her
knees hurt her on the boarded floor, her back and all her body ached;
but not for worlds would she relax an inch, believing that she could
comfort him with her pain, and her tears fell on his neck. When at last
he drew his face away she sank down on the floor, and could not rise,
but her fingers felt that the bosom of her dress was wet. He said
hoarsely:
“It's all right, Mother; you needn't worry!”
For no reward would she have looked at him just then, but with a deeper
certainty than reason she knew that he was safe.
Stealthily on the sloping skylight the cat retraced her steps, its four
paws dark moving spots, its body a faint blur.
Mrs. Pendyce rose.
“I won't stay now, darling. May I use your glass?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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