When Dave sprang into his car he gave the motor a full head and drove
through the city streets in a fury of recklessness. His mind was
numbed; it was incapable of assorting thoughts and placing them in
proper relationship to each other. His muscles guided the machine
apparently without any mental impulse. He rode it as he had ridden
unbroken bronchos in his far-away boyhood. Only this difference; then
he had no sense of danger; now he knew the danger, and defied it. If
he killed himself, so much the better; if he killed others, so much the
better still. The world was a place without purpose; a chaos of blind,
impotent, struggling creatures, who struggled only because they did not
know they were blind and impotent. Life was a farce and death a big
bluff set up that men might take the farce seriously.
He was soon out of the city, roaring through the still Autumn night
with undiminished speed. Over tortuous country roads, across sudden
bridges, along slippery hillsides, through black bluffs of
scrub-land--in some strange way he tried to drown the uproar in his
soul in the frenzy of the steel that quivered beneath him. On and on,
into the night. Bright stars gleamed overhead; a soft breeze pressed
against his face; it was such a night as he had driven, a year ago,
with Bert Morrison. Was that only a year ago? And what had happened?
Where had he been? Oh, to bring the boy--Charlie, the boy. When was
that? Under the calm heaven his mind was already attempting to
establish a sequence; to set its outraged home again in order.
Suddenly the car skidded on a slippery hillside, turned from the road,
plowed through a clump of scrub, ricochetted against a dark
obstruction, poised a moment on two wheels, turned around and stopped.
The shock brought Dave to his senses; he got out and walked about the
car, feeling the tires with his hands in the darkness. He could
appraise no serious damage. Then he sat on the running board and
stared for a long while into the darkness. "No use being a damned
fool, anyway, Dave," he said to himself, at length. "I got it--where I
didn't expect it--but I guess that's the way with every one. The
troubles we expect, don't happen, and then the trouble that we didn't
expect gets us when we're not watching." He tried to philosophize; to
get a fresh grip on himself. "Where are we, anyway?" he continued.
"This country looks familiar." He got up again and walked about,
finding his way back to the road. He went along it a little way.
Vague impressions suggested that he should know the spot, and yet he
could not identify it. Listen! There was a sound of water. There was
a sighing of the wind in trees; a very low sighing, rather a
whispering, of a gentle wind in trees. The place seemed alive with
spirits; spirits tapping on the door of some long sealed chamber of his
memory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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