"Noise? What noise?"
"I suppose you call it whistling."
"Suppose I call it whistling? It is whistling, isn't it?"
"Then, if it is, please don't. If you only knew how I keep thinking of
what that man is doing."
"What man?"
"Sir Derwent Dewsnap."
"Isn't he a freak? My hat, I shouldn't care to have him cut chunks off
me; it gave me the creeps only to hear him chatter."
"If his hand were to slip; if anything were to happen; if he were to
make the least mistake; life would be all over for me; and I'm only
just beginning to understand what it means."
"Tuppence!"
She looked at him in righteous indignation.
"Pray what do you mean by saying that?"
"That's about the value of the remark you made; if it's worth as much.
It won't make one farthing's worth of difference to you if Dewsnap
cuts him into six good-sized pieces. Why should it?"
"You don't understand."
"That's where you're wrong--you don't understand; I do. The only
person it might affect is Arnecliffe--and I wouldn't mind getting
three months myself if I had a chance of doing what he did."
"I am sorry to hear you talk like this."
"You're not--really? Why, robbing a bank is nothing compared to what
Emmett did. He stole a nice, clean, simple little girl; all because of
her money--and, all because of her money, he tried to jockey her into
marrying him--and all he got for it was a crack on the head with a
bottle. If he chooses to croak in consequence that's his fault, nobody
else's. Don't you see that yourself?"
"I certainly do not see what you pretend to."
"I say, are you liverish?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"Then, take my tip, and don't feign a vice if you haven't got it.
Strikes me that you take yourself, and every other jolly thing, too
seriously. You mayn't guess it, but I'm betting that in about five
years' time you'll be looking back at this episode as if it were a
regular rare old spree. People do have so few real adventures
nowadays. Look at me! I haven't had one in the whole of my life--and
you've had one already!--a tip-topper, too! It's an asset--mind you,
it's an asset; something you can put in the bank and draw upon. Why, I
consider that little tiddley-bit, when you were behind the curtain,
and saw the whole jolly show, was worth no end."
"It only proves that you haven't the least idea what you're talking
about."
"That remark only proves that you don't know where you are. Why,
you're only--I don't know what your age is."
"Never mind my age."
"Well, there can't be much of it to mind. I believe Frances is older
than you, and she's only a kid."
"Mr Vernon----"
"You needn't call me Mr Vernon; you can call me Jim."
"Thank you; I prefer to call you Mr Vernon."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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