The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasionsCabell, James Branch
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The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasions
Cabell, James Branch
Allegories; Authors -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction
“It is, instead, a religion that should be fostered. The man preached
peace. It is what my father before me strove for, what I have striven
for, what my successors must strive for. Peace alone may preserve Rome:
the empire is too large, a bubble blown so big and tenuous that the
first shock will disrupt it in suds. Pilate did well to crucify the man,
else we could not have made a God of him; but the persecution of these
followers of Christus must cease. This Nazarene preached the same
doctrine that I have always preached. I shall build him a temple. The
rumors concerning him lack novelty, it is true: this God born of a
mortal woman is the old legend of Dionysos and Mithra and Hercules, a
little pulled about; Gautama also was tempted in a wilderness;
Prometheus served long ago as man’s scapegoat under divine anger; and
the cult of Pollux and Castor, and of Adonis, has made these
resurrection stories hackneyed. In fine, Charicles, you have brought me
a woefully inartistic jumble of old tales; but the populace prefers old
tales, they delight to be told what they have heard already. I shall
certainly build Christus a temple.”
So he ran on, devising the reception of Christ into the Roman pantheon,
as a minor deity at first, and thence, if the receipts at his temple
justified it, to be raised to greater eminence. Tiberius saw large
possibilities in the worship of this new God, both from a doctrinal and
a money-making standpoint. Then Cæsar yawned, and ordered that a company
of his Spintriæ be summoned to his chamber, to amuse him with their
unnatural diversions.
But Charicles had listened in horror, for he was secretly a Christian,
and knew that the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church. He
foresaw that, without salutary discouragement, the worship of Christus
would never amount to more than the social fad of a particular season,
just as that of Cybele and that of Heliogabalus had been modish in
different years; and would afterward dwindle, precisely as these cults
had done, into shrugged-at old-fashionedness. Then, was it not written
that they only were assuredly blessed who were persecuted for
righteousness’ sake?—Why, martyrdom was the one certain road to Heaven;
and a religion which is patronized by potentates, obviously, breeds no
martyrs.
So Charicles mingled poison in Cæsar’s drink, that Cæsar might die, and
crazed Caligula succeed him, to put all Christians to the sword. And
Charicles young Caius Cæsar Caligula—Child of the Camp, Father of
Armies, Beloved of the Gods—killed first of all.
* * * * *
Then a lean man, white-robed, and clean-shaven as to his head, was
arranging a complicated toy. He labored in a gray-walled room, lit only
by one large circular window opening upon the sea. There was an alcove
in this room, and in the alcove stood a large painted statue.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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