The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasionsCabell, James Branch
Science
The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasions
Cabell, James Branch
Allegories; Authors -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction
we shall all die as Adam died; and caution should not scruple to affirm
this is an excellent dark saying, prophetic of that day when no man need
outdo Adam in celerity to put by his flesh.”
Then Kennaston found the alchemist had been compounding nitrum of
Memphis with sulphur, mixing in a little willow charcoal to make the
whole more friable, and that the powder had exploded. The old man was
now interested, less in the breakage, than in the horrible noise this
accident had occasioned.
“The mixture might be used in court-pageants and miracle-plays,” he
estimated, “to indicate the entrance of Satan, or the fall of Sodom, or
Herod’s descent into the Pit, and so on. Yes, I shall thriftily sell
this secret, and so get money to go on with the great work.”
Seeking to find the means of making life perpetual, he had accidentally
discovered gunpowder.
* * * * *
Then at Valladolid an age-stricken seaman, wracked with gout, tossed in
a mean bed and grumbled to bare walls. He, “the Admiral,” was neglected
by King Philip, the broth was unfit for a dog’s supper, his son Diego
was a laggard fool. Thus the old fellow mumbled.
Ingratitude everywhere! and had not he, “the Admiral”—“the Admiral of
Mosquito Land,” as damnable street-songs miscalled him, he whimpered, in
a petulant gust of self-pity—had not he found out at last a way by sea
to the provinces of the Great Khan and the treasures of Cipango? Give
him another fleet, and he would demonstrate what malignant fools were
his enemies. He would convert the Khan from Greek heresies; or else let
the Holy Inquisition be established in Cipango, the thumbscrew and the
stake be fittingly utilized there _ad majorem Dei gloriam_—all should
redound to the credit of King Philip, both temporal and celestial. And
what wealth, too, a capable emissary would bring back to his
Majesty—what cargoes of raw silks, of gold and precious gems, ravished
from Kanbalu and Taidu, those famed marvelous cities!... But there was
only ingratitude and folly everywhere, and the broth was cold....
Thus the broken adventurer, Cristoforo Colombo, mumbled. He had doubled
the world’s size and resources, in his attempts to find some defenseless
nation which could be plundered with impunity; and he was dying in
ignorance of what his endeavors had achieved.
* * * * *
And Kennaston was at Blickling Hall when King Henry read the Pope’s
letter which threatened excommunication. “Nan, Nan,” the King said,
“this is a sorry business.”
“Sire,” says Mistress Boleyn, saucily, “and am I not worth a little
abuse?”
“You deserve some quite certainly,” he agrees; and his bright lecherous
pig’s eyes twinkled, and he guffawed.
“Defy the Pope, then, sire, and marry your true love. Let us snap
fingers at Giulio de Medici—”
“Faith, and not every lass can bring eleven fingers to the task,” the
King put in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account