The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasionsCabell, James Branch
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The Cream of the Jest: A comedy of evasions
Cabell, James Branch
Allegories; Authors -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction
The two sat in a comfortable paneled room. There was a big open fire
behind Kennaston; he could see its reflections flicker about the
wood-work. The boy facing him was glowingly attired in green and gold,
an ardent comely urchin, who (as Kennaston estimated) might perhaps be a
page to Queen Elizabeth, or possibly was one of King James’s spoilt
striplings. Between them was a rough deal table, littered with
playing-cards; and upon it sat a tallish blue pitcher half-full of wine,
four lighted candles stuck like corks in as many emptied bottles, and
two coarse yellow mugs....
“Yes, we have done,” the boy answered; and, rising, smiled cherubically.
“May I ask what the object may be that you conceal with such care in
your left hand?” says he.
“To be candid,” Kennaston returned, “it is the King of Diamonds, that
swarthy bearded Spaniard. I had intended it should serve as a corrective
and encourager of Lady Fortune, when I turned it, my next deal, as the
trump card. I’ faith, I thank God I have found the jade is to be
influenced by such feats of manual activity. Oh, ay, sir, I may say it
without conceit that my fingers have in these matters tolerable compass
and variety.”
“A card-sharp!” sneers the boy. “La, half of us suspected it already;
but it will be rare news to the town that Master Lionel Branch—as I must
continue to call you—stands detected in such Greek knaveries.”
“Nay, but you will hardly live to moralize of it, sir. Oh, no, sir,
indeed my poor arts must not be made public: for I would not seem to
boast of my accomplishments. Harkee, sir, I abhor vain-glory. I name no
man, sir; but I know very well there are snotty-nosed people who regard
expedients toward amending the quirks of fate with puritan disfavor.
Hah, but, signior, what is that to us knights of the moon, to us
gallants of generous spirit?—Oh, Lord, sir, I protest I look upon such
talents much as I do upon my breeches. I do consider them as
possessions, not certainly to be vaunted, but indispensable to any
gentleman who hopes to make a pleasing figure in the world.”
“All this bluster is wordy foolery, Master Branch. What I have seen, I
have seen; and you will readily guess how I mean to use my knowledge.”
“I would give a great deal to find out what he is talking about,” was
Kennaston’s reflection. “I have discovered, at least, that my present
alias is Branch, but that I am in reality somebody else.” Aloud he said:
“’Fore God, your eyesight is of the best, Master Skirlaw—(_How the deuce
did I know his name, now?_)—Hah, I trust forthwith to prove if your
sword be equally keen.”
“I will fight with no cheats—”
“I’ faith, sir, but I have heard that wine is a famed provoker of
courage. Let us try the byword.” So saying, Kennaston picked up one mug,
and flung its contents full in the boy’s face. It was white wine,
Kennaston noted, for it did not stain Master Skirlaw’s handsome
countenance at all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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