The boys began to fill up the grave. Egorka looked on in quiet
astonishment as lumps of earth fell into the grave and the little
mound kept on growing. The ground was smoothed down and the cross
placed as before. Egorka walked up to it and read the inscription:
“Boy Giorgiy Antipov.”
Then the year, month, and date of his death.
He was faintly astonished, but an ominous indifference already made
captive his soul.
Some one touched his shoulder and asked something. Egorka was silent.
He looked as if he did not understand.
“Come to me,” said Trirodov quietly to him.
The little girl who always said “No” took Egorka by the hand and led
him away. They went back by the same road as they came. The darkness
closed after them.
Egorka remained with the quiet children. He had no passport, and his
life was different.
CHAPTER XXVII
Trirodov returned home. Like one returned from a grave, he felt happy
and light-hearted. His heart was consumed with exultation and
resolution. He recalled the talk he had had that day with Elisaveta.
There rose before him the proud joyous vision of life transfigured by
the force of creative art, of life created by the proud will.
If love, or what seemed like love, came to him, why should he resist
it? Whether it was a true emotion, or an illusion, was it not all the
same? The will, exulting above the world, would determine everything
as it wanted. It would have the power to erect a beautiful love over
the helplessness of the exhausted senses.
That which has so long weighed in the scales of consciousness, that
which has so long and so desperately wrestled in the dark region of
the unconscious now stood at a clear decision. Let the word “Yes” be
said. Once more Yes. For a new grief? For a glorious triumph? It was
all the same. If only he believed in her--and she in him. So much did
one mean to the other now.
Trirodov sat down at the table. He smiled, and for a few moments
seemed lost in thought. Then he wrote quickly upon a light blue sheet
of paper:
“Elisaveta, I want your love. Love me, dear one, love me. I forget my
knowledge, I reject my doubts, I become again as simple and as humble
as a communicant of a radiant kingdom, like my dear children--and I
only want your nearness and your kisses. Upon the earth, dear to our
heart, I will pass by, in simple and joyous humility, with bare feet,
like you--in order that I may come to you as you come to me. Love me.
“Your GIORGIY.”
There was a slight rustle behind the door. It seemed as if the whole
house were filled with the quiet children.
Trirodov sealed the letter. He wished to take it at once and leave it
on the sill of her open window. He walked quietly, immersed in the
wood’s darkness--and his feet felt the contact of warm moss, the
dew-wet grass, and the simple, rough, beloved earth. A refreshing
breeze blew from the river in the night coolness, but now and then
there came a sickly, pungent gust of the forest fire.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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