Jane marvelled at the concessions that had been made to her, at the
extent to which things were being done for her. Her hours were no longer
confounded and consumed in supervising servants, interviewing
tradespeople, and struggling with the demon of finance. They were all,
Jane's hours, serenely and equitably disposed. She gave her mornings to
her work, a portion of the afternoon to her son, and her evenings to her
husband. Sometimes she sat up quite late with him, working on the
magazine. Brodrick and the baby between them divided the three hours
which were hers before dinner. The social round had ceased for Jane.
Brodrick had freed her from the destroyers, from the pressure of the
dreadful, clever little people. She was hardly yet aware of the more
formidable impact of his family.
What impressed her was Brodrick's serene acceptance of her friends, his
authors. He was wonderful in his brilliant, undismayed enthusiasm, as he
followed the reckless charge, the shining onset of the talents. He
accepted even Tanqueray's murderous, amazing ironies. If Brodrick's
lifted eyebrows confessed that Tanqueray was amazing, they also
intimated that Brodrick remained perpetually unamazed.
But, as an editor, he drew the line at Arnott Nicholson.
It was the sensitive Nicky who first perceived and pointed out a change
in Jane. She moved among them abstractedly, with mute, half alienated
eyes. She seemed to have suffered some spiritual disintegration that was
pain. She gave herself to them no longer whole, but piecemeal. At times
she seemed to hold out empty, supplicating hands, palms outward,
showing that she could give no more. There was, she seemed to say, no
more left of her.
Only Tanqueray knew how much was left; knew of her secret, imperishable
resources, things that were hidden profoundly even from herself; so
hidden that, even if she gave him nothing, it was always possible to him
to help himself. To him she could not change. His creed had always been
the unchangeableness, the indestructibility of Jinny.
Still, he assented, smiling, when little Laura confided to him that to
see Jane Brodrick in Brodrick's house, among Brodricks, was not seeing
Jinny. There was too much Brodrick. It would have been better, said
Laura, if she had married Nicky.
He agreed. There would never have been too much of Nicky. But Laura
shook her head.
"It isn't a question of proportion," she said. "It isn't that there's
too much Brodrick and too little Jinny. It's simply that Jinny isn't
there."
Jane knew how she struck them. There was sadness for her, not in their
reproaches, for they had none, but in their recognition of the things
that were impossible. They had always known how it would be if she
married, if she was surrounded by a family circle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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