They set out down the lane. There had been wind at dawn. Southwards,
over the hills, the clouds were piled up to the high sun in a riot and
glory of light and storm. The hills were dusk under their shadow.
The two swung up the long slopes at a steady pace, rejoicing in the
strong movement of their limbs. It was thus that they used to set out
together long ago, on their "days," over the hills of Buckinghamshire
and Hertfordshire. Jane remarked that her state now was almost equal to
that great freedom. And they talked of Brodrick.
"There aren't many husbands," she said, "who would let their wives go
off like this for months at a time."
"Not many. He has his merits."
"When you think of the life I lead him at home it takes heaps off his
merit. The kindest thing I can do to him is to go away and stay away.
George, you don't know how I've tormented the poor darling."
"I can imagine."
"He was an angel to bear it."
She became pensive at the recollection.
"Sometimes I wonder whether I ought, really, to have married. You told
me that I oughtn't."
"When?"
"Six years ago."
"Well--I'm inclined to say so still. Only, the unpardonable sin in a
great artist--isn't so much marrying as marrying the wrong person."
"He isn't the wrong person for me. But I'm afraid I'm the wrong person
for him."
"It comes to the same thing."
"Not altogether." She pondered. "No doubt God had some wise purpose when
he made Hugh marry me. I can see the wise purpose in Owen's marrying
Laura, and the wise purpose in his not marrying Nina; but when it comes
to poor, innocent Hugh tying himself up for ever and ever with a woman
like me----"
"Don't put it on God. His purpose was wise enough."
"What was it?"
"Why--obviously--that I should have married you, that Hugh should have
married Gertrude, and that some reputable young draper should have
married Rose."
"Poor little Rose!"
"Poor little Rose would have been happy with her draper; Gertrude would
have been happy with Brodrick; you--no, I, would have been divinely
happy with you."
She laughed. "Oh, would you!"
"_That_ was the heaven-appointed scheme. And there we were, all five of
us, bent on frustrating the divine will--I beg Gertrude's
pardon--Gertrude's will was entirely in accord."
"It sounds delightfully simple, but I doubt if it would have worked out
so. We've all got as much of each other as we want."
"That's what we haven't got. Very large, important pieces of each of us
have been taken and given to the wrong person. Look at you--look at me."
She looked at him. "My dear, the largest and most important part of you
is kept well out of the reach of Rose's little fingers. You and I have
quite as much of each other as is good for us. If _we_ were to tear each
other to pieces there'd be nothing left of us."
Thus lightly they handled it, setting out in the morning.
Their pace slackened. They had begun to think.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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