I have been in rather a predicament since I realised that Tommy and I
were neighbours. There has been a certain delicacy about the situation.
I might tell tales of him--he is married! I have seen his wife--such a
pretty woman; but, unless I am mistaken, she wears the breeches! But
they would not do him a tithe of the injury his tales would do me. And
we women are so handicapped. The justice of the world is so unjust. A
man may steal the horse, while we may not look over the hedge.
Primitive civilisations are, after all, in certain respects, the best;
but then they lack the very things we want!
I'm a widow--_bonâ fide_. I could put down as much hard cash, dollar
for dollar, as many women who are famed for riches. I want to begin
again. I have ambitions. I want to ruffle it among the best of them.
Why shouldn't I? I have the qualities. So I have taken this highly
respectable house in this highly respectable street, and furnished it
in a highly respectable manner. I wanted to look about me--to find out
where I am. I did not want to start with a splash, or folks would want
to know who I was. And there are people who could tell them. For
instance, Tommy for one. I want some one to launch me; some one fully
equipped with the necessary equipment to give me a good send-off.
Tommy, if he liked, could spoil me. On the thin ice of my perfect
respectability, at this stage of the game, I stand or fall; and, if I
do fall, I fall right in. If I had known that Tommy and I were
neighbours, I should have behaved in a very different fashion when I
discovered we were fellow-passengers. I should have shown a spirit of
Christian forgiveness; and, in excusing the past, I should have buried
the hatchet. Tommy is a good-hearted creature, in his way. I could have
easily induced him to hold his tongue, or even to assist me with a
helping hand.
Now that boat is burned!
My first impulse, when I discovered that we were neighbours, was to fly
before he made the same discovery on his own account. Had he chosen, he
might have made my position absolutely untenable. While this mood was
on me, I did my little best to conceal the fact. When I went out, I
took care not to pass his house, lest he should see me from the
windows. And the funny part of it was that the first time I did pass
his house, he saw me.
The papers were full of the Three Bridges tragedy. The hue-and-cry was
hot against the man who had travelled in that blood-stained carriage.
What amazed me was his continued silence. It showed not only abject
cowardice, but drivelling idiocy to boot. Anything was better--for
him!--than keeping still. It was the Friday night. I had some letters
to post. I had a headache. I felt that I must have some fresh air, or a
change of air if fresh air was not obtainable; so I took them myself to
the pillar-box at the end of the road. Doing so involved passing
Tommy's residence. But it was dark; there was more than the suspicion
of fog--the risk seemed small.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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