He was very nice. I was conscious that the man was almost like a woman
in the quickness of his intuition. That, if it came to shooting I
should have to move like lightning to get my shot in first. That he
would detect any intended movement towards my gun even before the
intention was wholly formed. And instinct told me that he was aware
that I had perceived the intonation with which he had said "He has a
daughter," and that it rankled. I do believe that for the first time in
my life I had given myself away. And to a man. But this man could read
the stars. And after dinner, he was particularly nice, because he
happened to have read them.
After he was gone I sat for ever so long in the drawing-room forming
plans. The first wild notion had come to me before. I gave it form and
fashion then. I, too, would buck the tiger. Why not? Who would have
more cause than I? It is a peculiarity of my constitution that,
whatever the game, I always play better when the stakes are high.
I would win my friend, the gentleman. I would go the limit every time
until I did.
In winning him I should win all. Everything my soul desired. At a
single coup, the game.
First of all, I should win the man. He was well worth winning--just the
man.
Then I should win social recognition. By becoming Mrs. Reginald
Townsend I should be spared years of struggling--struggling, too, which
might only bring failure at the end. He wanted a clever wife, and he
should have her. He wanted a good wife, and he should have her too. He
wanted a wife who believed in him; he would never meet one who believed
in him more than I did. He wanted a wife with money; probably there was
not in England half a dozen possible women who had as much as I had.
Given a wife who had all these things I doubted if there was a
drawing-room in which he could not make her welcome--from the Queen's
own drawing-room, downwards or upwards. Practically he could place
Society--with a big S!--at her feet, to do with as she chose.
To think of it! What a realisation of one's dream. What a short and
what an easy cut to the Kingdom of the Blest!
Again, in making him the captive of my sword and of my bow, I should be
giving one to the daughter of Sir Haselton Jardine. That, also, would
be worth the doing. To dislike any one is a mistake. I reminded myself
of that over and over again. But I knew I hated her.
As to whether I should be able to win him--on that point I had no
shadow of doubt. It was true that the overtures might have to come from
me, but they should come. And when they came they should come in a
guise which he would find resistless.
Or we should see!
I slept very well that night--soothed by my own fancies. I remember
very well that, when I was in my bedroom, just before I got between the
sheets, I looked at the hand which he had held in his, and, just where
his hand pressed it, I kissed it. It was a silly thing to do, but it
did me good.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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