England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"That she is!" exclaimed Piers, with a passionate delight on his visage
and in his voice. "And she would _rather_ I spoke to her--I feel she
would! She, with her fine intelligence and noble heart, she would think
it dreadful that a man did not dare to approach her, just because of
something not his fault, something that made him no bit the less a man,
and capable of honour. I know that thought would shake her with pity
and indignation. So far I can read in her. What! You think I know her
too little? And the thought of her never out of my mind for these five
years! I have got to know her better and better, as time went on. Every
word she spoke at Ewell stayed in my memory, and by perpetual
repetition has grown into my life. Every sentence has given me its full
meaning. I didn't need to be near her to study her. She was in my mind;
I heard her and saw her whenever I wished; as I have grown older and
more experienced in life, I have been better able to understand her. I
used to think this was enough. I had--you know--that exalted sort of
mood; Dante's Beatrice, and all that! It _was_ enough for the time,
seeing that I lived with it, and through it. But now--no! And there is
no single reason why I should be ashamed to stand before her, and tell
her that--What I feel."
He checked himself, and gloomed for an instant, then continued in
another tone:
"Yet that isn't true. There _are_ reasons--I believe no man living
could say that when speaking of such a woman as Irene Derwent. I cannot
face her without shame--the shame of every man who stands before a
pure-hearted girl. We have to bear that, and to hide it as best we can."
The listener bent upon him a wondering gaze, and seemed unable to avert
it, till his look answered her.
"You will give me this opportunity, Mrs. Hannaford?" he added
pleadingly.
"I have no right whatever to refuse it. Besides, how could I, if I
wished?
"When shall I come? I must remember that I am not free to wander about.
If it could be a Sunday----"
"I have forgotten something I ought to have told you already," said
Mrs. Hannaford. "Whilst she was on her travels, Irene had an offer from
someone else."
Piers laughed.
"Can that surprise one? Should I wonder if I were told she had fifty?"
"Yes, but this was not of the ordinary kind. You know that Mr. Jacks is
well acquainted with Trafford Romaine. And it was Trafford Romaine
himself."
The news did not fail of its impression. Piers smiled vaguely, and on
the smile came a look of troubled pride.
"Well, it is not astonishing, but it gives me a better opinion of the
man. I shall always feel a sort of sympathy when I come across his
name. Why did you think I ought to know?"
"For a reason I feel to be rather foolish, now I come to speak of it,"
replied Mrs. Hannaford. "But--I had a feeling that Irene is by nature
rather ambitious; and if, after such an experience as that, she so soon
accepts a man who has done nothing particular, whose position is not
brilliant----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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