"Agatha!" he cried again. He could say no more.
"Oh, Clement," she said, "if you were killed--killed uselessly!--now
that I have found you, I could not bear it. Dear, I could not bear it!"
Cleggett was profoundly moved. He yearned to take her in his arms to
comfort her, and to promise anything she wished. And the thought came
to him too that, if he should perish, the one kiss, given and received
in the darkness and danger of fight and storm, would be all the brave
sweetness of her that he would know this side of the grave; the thought
came to him bitterly. For an instant he wavered.
"Agatha!" he said with dry lips. "I have already accepted the fellow's
challenge."
"And what of that?" she cried. "Would you cling to a barren point of
honor in despite of love?"
"Even so," he said, and sighed.
"Oh, Clement," she said, "I cannot bear it! I cannot bear to lose you!
I always knew you were in the world somewhere--and now that I have
found you it is only to give you up! It is too much!"
Cleggett was silent for a moment. When he spoke it was slowly and
gently, but earnestly.
"No point of honor is a barren one, dear," he said. "What the man
lying there may be matters nothing. It is not to him that I have given
my word, but to myself. In our hurried modern life we are not
punctilious enough about these things. Perhaps, in the old days, the
men and women were worse than we in many ways. But they held to a few
traditions, or the best of them did, that make the loose and tawdry
manners of this age seem cheap indeed. All my life I have known that
there was something shining and simple and precious concealed from the
common herd of men in this common age, which the brighter spirits of
the old days lived by and served and worshiped. I have always seen it
plainly, and always tried to live by it, too. Perhaps it was never, in
any period, more than a dream; but I have dreamed that dream. And
anyone who dreams that dream will have a reverence for his spoken word
no matter to whom it is passed. I may be a fool to fight this man;
well then, that is the kind of fool I am! Indeed, I know I am a fool
by the judgments of this age. But I have never truly lived in this
age. I have lived in the past; I have held to the dream; I have
believed in the bright adventure; I have walked with the generous,
chivalric spirits of the great ages; they have come to me out of my
books and dwelt with me and been my companions, and the realities of
time and place have been unreal in their presence. I see myself so
walking always. It may be that I am a vain ass, but I cannot help it.
It may be that I am a little mad; but I would rather be mad with a Don
Quixote than sane with an Andrew Carnegie and pile up platitudes and
dollars.
"And all this foolishness of mine is somehow bound up with the thought
that I have engaged to fight that evil fellow, and must do it; all the
bright, sane madness in me cries out that he is to die by this hand of
mine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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