The Cruise of the "Scandal", and other storiesBridges, Victor
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The Cruise of the "Scandal", and other stories
Bridges, Victor
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
It was one of those rare occasions when the realization of a
long-cherished scheme is even more enjoyable than imagination has
already painted it, and so eagerly did Squarky-woo enter upon his
task that for some moments he was totally oblivious of all other
considerations. At length, however, when the first glow of gratified
appetite was gradually cooling down, he began to realise that the
whole apartment was permeated by a delicate perfume for which none of
the fragments on the floor were directly responsible. He stopped
eating and began to sniff the air with the rich satisfaction of a
true connoisseur. "If that isn't Cheddar cheese," he murmured to
himself, "I'm a Dutch-mouse!"
As far as he could judge, the source of this delicious odour lay
somewhere in the direction of the fireplace. In eager expectancy he
darted across the floor; and there, just in front of the grate lay
the most perfect slice of Cheddar cheese, surrounded by a curious
arrangement of wire and wood.
Now Squarky-woo had been brought up by Mammy-ana on an excellent
principle, carefully copied from the manner in which she had observed
human beings educated their children. That such things as traps and
cats existed it was, of course, impossible to deny, but what they
were like in appearance, and where they were likely to be found, were
things that no decent-minded young mouse had any right to know. The
great object of education was to launch one's children upon the world
in absolute ignorance of the darker side of life.
"My own little Squarky-woo," she would say to other approving
mothers, "is just as pure-minded as the day that he was born."
This being so, Squarky-woo had naturally no idea that the curious
thing in front of him was a trap. He had often heard other young
mice speak of such things with bated breath, but had never dared to
ask what they were actually like, for fear that he should be laughed
at for not knowing. So he walked round it, and sniffed at it, and
puzzled his head trying to make out what it was. It could scarcely
be intended to keep the cheese clean; it was obviously not intended
to prevent anybody stealing it. Well, it was no good trying to
account for human idiocy. People who kept cats for pleasure were
obviously a little wanting in ordinary intelligence. If they chose
to put their cheese into a sort of birdcage and leave it on the
kitchen floor, that was their own look-out. He knew what to do with
it if they hadn't.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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