Leaving London they went to Paris, where they passed a few days, but
soon grew weary of the place; and Lord Chetwynde, feeling a kind of
languor, which seemed to him like a premonition of disease, he
decided to go to Germany. His first idea was to go to Baden, although
it was not the season; but on his arrival at Frankfort he was so
overcome by the fatigue of traveling that he determined to remain for
a time in that city. His increasing languor, however, had alarmed
him, and he had called in the most eminent physicians of the place,
who, at the time the letter was written, were prescribing for him.
The writer said that they did not seem to think that this illness had
any thing very serious in it, and simply recommended certain changes
of diet and various kinds of gentle exercise, but he added that in
his opinion there was something in it, and that this illness was more
serious than was supposed. As for the sick man himself, he was much
discouraged. He had grown tired of his physicians and of Frankfort,
and wished to go on to Baden, thinking that the change might do him
good. He seemed anxious for constant change, and spoke as though he
might leave Baden for some other German city, or perhaps go on to
Italy, to which place his thoughts, for some reason or other, seemed
always turning with eager impatience.
As Hilda read this letter, and took in the whole of its dark and
hidden meaning, all her former agitation returned. Once more the
question arose which had before so greatly harassed her. The
disappearance of Mrs. Hart, and the increasing dangers which had been
gathering around her head, had for a time taken up her thoughts, but
now her great, preoccupying care came back with fresh vehemence, and
resumed more than its former sway. Mrs. Hart was forgotten as
completely as though she had never existed. Gualtier's possible
infidelity to her suggested itself no more; it was Lord Chetwynde and
Lord Chetwynde only, his sickness, his peril, his doom, which came to
her mind. On one side stood Love, pleading for his life; on the
other Vengeance, demanding its sacrifice.
_Shall he live, or shall he die_?
This was the question which ever and ever rang in her soul. "Shall he
live, or die? Shall he go down to death, doomed by me, and thus end
all my hope, or shall he live to scorn me?" In his death there was
the satisfaction of vengeance, but there was also the death of hope.
In his death there was fresh security for herself; but in his death
her own life would lie dead. On each side there were motives most
powerful over a mind like hers, yet so evenly balanced that she knew
not which way to turn, or in which way to incline. Death or
life?--life or death? Thus the question came.
And the hours passed on; and every hour, she well knew, was freighted
with calamity; every hour was dragging Lord Chetwynde on to that
point at which the power to decide upon his fate would be hers no
longer.
Why hesitate?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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