And in the heat of this, she put on her hat and went out, leaving Mab
half stupefied by the suddenness of all those settlements. Mab had not
the courage to offer to go to Wilkins and the rest with her sister. She
cried over all that Cicely had to do; but she knew very well that she
had not the strength to do it. She went and arranged her easel, and set
to work very diligently. That was always something; and to make money,
would not that be best of all, as well as the pleasantest? Mab did not
care for tiring herself, nor did she think of her own enjoyment. That
she should be the brother working for both, and Cicely the sister
keeping her house, had always been the girl's ideal, which was far from
a selfish one. But she could not do what Cicely was doing. She could not
steer the poor little ship of the family fortunes or misfortunes through
this dangerous passage. Though she was, she hoped, to take the man's
part of breadwinner, for the moment she shrank into that woman's part
which women too often are not permitted to hold. To keep quiet at home,
wondering and working in obscurity--wondering how the brave adventurer
was faring who had to fight for bare life outside in the world.
I dare not follow Cicely through her morning's work; it would take up so
much time; and it would not be pleasant for us any more than it was for
her. "Don't you make yourself unhappy, Miss," said the butcher, "I know
as you mean well by every one. A few pounds ain't much to me, the Lord
be praised! and I'll wait, and welcome, for I know as you mean well."
Cicely, poor child! being only nineteen, cried when these kind words
were said to her, and was taken into the hot and greasy parlour, where
the butcher's wife was sitting, and petted and comforted. "Bless you,
things will turn out a deal better than you think," Mrs. Butcher said;
"they always does. Wait till we see the handsome young gentleman as is
coming through the woods for you, Miss Cicely dear: and a good wife
he'll have, like your dear mother," this kind woman added, smiling, yet
wiping her eyes. But Wilkins the grocer was much more difficult to
manage, and to him Cicely set her fair young face like a flint, biting
her lips to keep them steady, and keeping all vestige of tears from her
eyes. "Whatever you do," she said with those firm pale lips, "we cannot
pay you now; but you shall be paid if you will have patience;" and at
last, notwithstanding the insults which wrung Cicely's heart, this
savage, too, was overcome. She went home all throbbing and aching from
this last conflict, her heart full of bitterness and those sharp stings
of poverty which are so hard to bear. It was not her fault; no
extravagance of hers had swelled those bills; and how many people threw
away every day much more than would have saved all that torture of
heart and mind to this helpless and guiltless girl! Mildmay himself had
paid for a Palissy dish, hideous with crawling reptiles, a great deal
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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