gentlemen shook hands with her still, when she came in their way, no one
went out of his or her way to speak to the schoolmistress. It would be
vain to say that there was no mortification involved in this change.
Cicely felt it in every fibre of her sensitive frame, by moments; but
fortunately her temperament was elastic, and she possessed all the
delicate strength which is supposed to distinguish "blood." She was
strong, and light as a daisy, jumping up under the very foot that
crushed her. This kind of nature makes its possessor survive and
surmount many things that are death to the less elastic; it saves from
destruction, but it does not save from pain.
As for Mr. Mildmay, it was soon made very apparent to him that, for him
at his age to show much favour or friendship to the schoolmistress at
hers, was entirely out of the question. He had to visit the school, of
course, in the way of his duty, but to visit Cicely was impossible.
People even remarked upon the curious frequency with which he passed the
school. Wherever he was going in the parish (they said), his road seemed
to turn that way, which, of course, was highly absurd, as every
reasonable person must see. There was a side window by which the curious
passer-by could see the interior of the school as he passed, and it was
true that the new rector was interested in that peep. There were the
homely children in their forms, at their desks, or working in the
afternoon at their homely needlework: among them, somewhere, sometimes
conning little lessons with portentous gravity, the two little boys in
their black frocks, and the young school-mistress seated at her table;
sometimes (the spy thought) with a flush of weariness upon her face. The
little house was quite empty during the school-hours; for Annie was a
scholar too, and aspiring to be pupil-teacher some day, and now as
reverent of Miss St. John as she had once been critical. Mildmay went on
his way after that peep with a great many thoughts in his heart. It
became a kind of necessity to him to pass that way, to see her at her
work. Did she like it, he wondered? How different it was from his own!
how different the position--the estimation of the two in the world's
eye! He who could go and come as he liked, who honoured the parish by
condescending to become its clergyman, and to whom a great many little
negligences would have been forgiven, had he liked, in consequence of
his scholarship, and his reputation, and his connections. "We can't
expect a man like Mildmay, fresh from a University life, to go pottering
about among the sick like poor old St. John," Mr. Ascott would say.
"That is all very well, but a clergyman here and there who takes a high
position for the Church in society is more important still." And most
people agreed with him; and Roger Mildmay went about his parish with his
head in the clouds, still wondering where life was--that life which
would string the nerves and swell the veins, and put into man the soul
of a hero.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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