Cicely went down to her father very resolute with her books. She had
intended to say very little to him, but he had exasperated her, and she
felt that she could not let him off. But her courage sank a little when
she got into the study, and saw his white head in the light of the
solitary candle. There were two candles on the table, but faithful to an
old frugal habit, Mr. St. John had put out one of them when his guest
left him. The room was good-sized, and full of huge mahogany bookcases;
and as the table was at one end of it, there is no telling how full of
gloom it was. One of the windows was open, and a great solid piece of
darkness seemed to have taken its place, and to be pouring in. Mr. St.
John was looking over some old sermons, bending his head over the
papers, with spectacles upon his nose, which he took off when Cicely
came in. He did not usually sit up so long, and he was rather aggrieved
at the late interview she had asked for. He did not like to be disturbed
out of his usual way, and he felt that she was going to speak to him
about Wilkins, the most painful subject which could be suggested.
Cicely, too, when he raised his head, and took off his spectacles, found
the interview a great deal more difficult than in her excited feelings
she had supposed.
"Well, my dear," he said gently; "you wanted to speak to me." He gave a
little shiver when he saw the books in her hand.
"Yes, papa," she said, laying them down on the table; and then there was
a pause. The soft night air came in, and crept wistfully about the room,
moving the curtains. When it approaches midnight, even in August, there
is always something chill and mournful in the night wind.
"I wanted to speak to you," said Cicely, catching her breath a little;
"it was about the books. I don't know if you have looked at them lately.
Oh, papa! do you know that we are--in debt? I don't know how to say
it--a great deal in debt!"
"Not a great deal, my dear," he said faintly; "something, I know.
Wilkins spoke to me to-day--almost before Mr. Mildmay."
"It is not Wilkins alone," said Cicely solemnly; "it is everybody. The
butcher, too; and, oh! so many little people. How are they ever to be
paid? When I looked over the books to-day, not knowing--Oh! do you know
how it has happened? Can they be cheating? It is my only hope."
"My dear," said the curate, faltering, "better that one should have done
wrong than that a great many should have done wrong. Poor Mrs. St.
John--nay, I should say both of us, Cicely; for I was also to blame. We
were not like your mother, my dear; it all came natural to your mother;
but she, or rather we----" Mr. St. John's voice sank into an indistinct
confusion. He was too good to blame the poor woman who was dead, and he
did not know how to meet the eyes thus shining upon him, youthful,
inexorable, of Hester's child. But even Cicely was moved by her father's
wistful looks, and the humility of his tone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account