KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures. L LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B. LACE, n. A delicate and costly textile fabric with which the female soul is netted like a fish. The devil casting a seine of lace (With precious stones 't was weighted) Drew it in to the landing place And its contents calculated. All souls of women were in that sack-- A draught miraculous, precious! But ere he could throw it across his back They 'd all escaped through the meshes. Baruch de Loppis. LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure. Carried to its logical conclusion, it means that some have the right to prevent others from living; for the right to own implies the right exclusively to occupy, and in fact laws of trespass are enacted wherever property in land is recognized. It follows that if the whole area of terra firma is owned by A, B, and C, there will be no place for D, E, F, and G to be born on, or, being born as trespassers, to exist on. A life on the ocean wave, A home on the rolling deep, For the spark that nature gave I have there the right to keep. They give me the cat-o'-nine Whenever I go ashore. Then ho! for the flashing brine-- I'ma natural commodore! Dodle. LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure. LAOCOÖN, n. A famous piece of antique sculpture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia. LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system--an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males. The male of our species has a rudimentary lap, imperfectly developed and in no way contributing to the animal's substantial welfare. LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns. Ah, punster, would my lot were cast, Where the cobbler is unknown, So that I might forget his last And hear your own. Gargo Repsky.