English language -- Dictionaries -- Humor; English language -- Semantics -- Humor; Vocabulary -- Humor
LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the
features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and,
though intermittent, incurable. Liability to attacks of laughter is one
of the characteristics distinguishing man from the animals--these being
not only inaccessible to the provocation of his example, but impregnable
to the microbes having original jurisdiction in bestowal of the disease.
Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by inoculation from
the human patient is a question that has not been answered by
experimentation. Dr. Weir Mitchell holds that the infectious character
of laughter is due to instantaneous fermentation of sputa diffused in a
spray. From this peculiarity he names the disorder Convulsio spargens.
LAUREATE, adj. Crowned with the leaves of the vegetable aforesaid. In
England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting
as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing mute at every royal
funeral. Of all incumbents of that high office Robert Southey had the
most notable knack at drugging the Samson of public joy and cutting his
hair to the quick; and he had an artistic color-sense which enabled
him so to blacken a public grief as to give it the aspect of a national
crime.
LAUREL, n. The laurus, a vegetable dedicated to Apollo, and formerly
defoliated to wreathe the brows of victors and such poets as had
influence at court.
LAW, n.
Once Law was sitting on the bench,
And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
"Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench!
Nor come before me creeping.
Upon your knees if you appear,
'T is plain you have no standing here,"
Then Justice came. His Honor cried:
"Your status?--devil seize you!"
"<i>Arnica curiæ</i>," she replied--
"Friend of the court, so please you."
"Begone!" he shouted--"there 's the door--
I never saw your face before!"
G. J.
LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. One of the chief
duties of the modern lawyer is defense of eminent rogues by vituperation
of "anonymous scribblers" of the press--an employment which drew from
that "scurril jester," Editor Fum, of "The Daily Livercomplaint," the
hortatory words here following:
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