Belief and doubt -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Methodists -- Fiction; New York (State) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
He recalled her momentary anger with him, that afternoon in the woods,
when he had cried out that discovery would mean ruin to him. He saw
clearly enough now that she had been grieved at his want of faith in her
protection. In his flurry of fright, he had lost sight of the fact that,
if exposure and trouble came to him, she would naturally feel that she
had been the cause of his martyrdom. It was plain enough now. If he got
into hot water, it would be solely on account of his having been seen
with her. He had walked into the woods with her--“the further the
better” had been her own words--out of pure kindliness, and the
desire to lead her away from the scene of her brother's and her own
humiliation. But why amplify arguments? Her own warm heart would tell
her, on the instant, how he had been sacrificed for her sake, and would
bring her, eager and devoted, to his succor.
That was all right, then. Slowly, from this point, suggestions expanded
themselves. The future could be, if he willed it, one long serene
triumph of love, and lofty intellectual companionship, and existence
softened and enriched at every point by all that wealth could command,
and the most exquisite tastes suggest. Should he will it! Ah! the
question answered itself. But he could not enter upon this beckoning
heaven of a future until he had freed himself. When Celia said to him,
“Come!” he must not be in the position to reply, “I should like to, but
unfortunately I am tied by the leg.” He should have to leave Octavius,
leave the ministry, leave everything. He could not begin too soon to
face these contingencies.
Very likely Celia had not thought it out as far as this. With her,
it was a mere vague “sometime I may.” But the harder masculine sense,
Theron felt, existed for the very purpose of correcting and giving point
to these loose feminine notions of time and space. It was for him to
clear away the obstacles, and map the plans out with definite decision.
One warm afternoon, as he lolled in his easy-chair under the open
window of his study, musing upon the ever-shifting phases of this vast,
complicated, urgent problem, some chance words from the sidewalk in
front came to his ears, and, coming, remained to clarify his thoughts.
Two ladies whose voices were strange to him had stopped--as so many
people almost daily stopped--to admire the garden of the parsonage. One
of them expressed her pleasure in general terms. Said the other--
“My husband declares those dahlias alone couldn't be matched for thirty
dollars, and that some of those gladiolus must have cost three or four
dollars apiece. I know we've spent simply oceans of money on our garden,
and it doesn't begin to compare with this.”
“It seems like a sinful waste to me,” said her companion.
“No-o,” the other hesitated. “No, I don't think quite that--if you can
afford it just as well as not. But it does seem to me that I'd rather
live in a little better house, and not spend it ALL on flowers. Just
LOOK at that cactus!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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