Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
The sea was broken here. It lapped idle, and was green and halted by the
blue purl of the river that came out to be lost in the sea’s freedom.
The bay was quieter than the scudding grass that marged it. There was a
rocking stillness everywhere against which the earnest and sharp sally
of the pipers in the sea-weed was a dissonant shred. Here Tom threw
himself down and took the pungent air into his eyes and mouth and let it
moisten the strain of his body. He was immersed in the sweet summer.
A mood grew on him. He learned of a mistake that he had made. Upon the
contrast and the stillness of this place came something from without and
filled it and made its song. He found that he was longing for the
comradeship of David.
Sitting idle and full of the sap of the summer, he found that the part
of him which warmed him was straining outward, toward a vague thing
indeed--since he wanted no specific thing of David--but with a pull that
had no vagueness. He found himself unable to partake of the gentle world
he was in. He found himself tangenting from it, making of his wish a rod
to vault him back into the burning City. He sat musing, half asleep,
without sense of time. He dug with his fingers in the sand. He watched a
bug voyage from spot to spot with a rapt floating interest. He tried to
enjoy a cigarette, with a sense telling him that the air had a sweeter
perfume, could he but swing himself to know it. Unease was on him. He
consulted his watch and its denotation of the hours was like news from a
far country. Impulse to move was balked by lack of desire to go. He
stayed, balanced, bored, strangely exhausted with these hours of
indolence, glad of the excuse of hunger to make him move.
The beach was bedlam. He went through the throngs, as if he were wading
a morass.
Only the buffet of the waves when he swam beyond the breakers gave him a
resistance where he could dwell with a certain comfort. But he could not
bathe all day. He went in to dinner. A sort of immersement in a black
pot where food was. Clatter of dishes, hot stickiness of human motion,
flies stuck on paper. It was hard to part the tasteless substance of his
neighbors from the sodden stuff he prodded down his throat.
He escaped to the sea. While the populace digested, he could be alone
with it. It beat in monotone upon his world: it flayed it. The sea lay
there cruelly content, droning its repetitious chant. Until the endless
song mounted, terraced, burst in his ears like a vast shout of conquest.
Tom felt an invasion. His small body was being swept by a terrene
monster. The sea’s laborious approach against his nerves was no relief
from the crepitous _guerilla_ of the women, children, men, beating their
individual sticks and stones upon him. Tom went back to the deserted bay
where the sea was less the sea. And, gazing at the watery world, he
wondered by what spell the ocean had even been a balm to him: by what
strength he had dared love it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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