Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
David was there. Tom went forward with the slain feelings the occasion
had given birth to. What he saw was a blight that had drawn the life of
his coming. What remained, talking, moving, was a ghost. David was not
alone. With him some friend.
“Farmer was alone. I happened to meet him coming up. I knew you would
not mind, Tom, if he came along.”
“Of course--of course not”
Tom knew that soon he would understand. In order to be polite, he had
better delay the moment. Perhaps, he could put it off till he was rid of
these two fellows.
“Where shall we go. I’m hungry.” David seemed satisfied. He had worried
a little perhaps? David put on his straw hat with a despicable slap of
his palm.
“Where you say. It makes no difference to me.”
Their favorite café--and Charles? David suggested. Tom nodded.
It was a hilarious dinner. Actually. Tom helped it. The Farmer person
had an aptitude for puns. He told them with a Carolina accent. Tom knew
of him, that he wore a straggly ribbon for a tie--gray and brown--tucked
like a shoe-string into the yellow edge of his collar. He knew also that
the collar button showed--it was black bone--and an adam’s-apple: that
the shirt bulged and was half stiff, and wrinkled. Tom knew no more
because his eyes rose no higher and no lower. They remained at their
horizontal tension.
He packed them off to an extravaganza. No, he could not join them. He
simply could not. They would enjoy it without him. One did not go to
the theater for company--as one went to dinner. They were gone at last.
Tom was home like a spent arrow. Down the turbulent avenue with the
trains clamoring overhead. He took off his clothes. He was exhausted, as
if he had run that day, not been carried, to New York. In a moment, he
slept.
He woke early and lay in his bed and understood.
David did not know it: he had done this thing with a knowledge surer
than knowing. That much was clear. If David had had a doubt as to the
true trivial purpose of Tom’s telegram, if he had so much as said:
“There may be something important” he must have given Tom the chance to
tell him. It was plain, David had sensed the lack of a particular
business, guessed the purely social nature of Tom’s wish: keen willing,
without knowing, to avoid it.
Was it stupidity? Tom thought not. The stupid person would not have
understood so much. He would have said: “There may be something
important.” Or, feeling the true inwardness of Tom’s importunity, he
must have been passive before it. Beneath David’s ingenuous behavior,
there worked a deliberate negation. That much seemed certain. Part of
his will’s function it had been to hide from David what it was all
about, since his will was willing to cause Tom’s distress, and David
conscious would not have been willing to cause it, David’s innocence a
cloak over himself. But the detail of his meeting Farmer? Tom believed
that in the wide world of occurrence the searching will could always
find material for its act.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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