Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
“Well, I like to go out for pleasure.”
“By all means, Davie. But don’t have too much. You may get tired of it.
Then what will you do?” He laughed. “Perhaps then you’d have more time
for your middle-aged friend.”
His mood was changed. The will to hurt was gone. It was as if in its
fulfillment he had been assuaged. Tom looked at David now with a warm
candor. And David, looking at Tom, realized that this was a great
joy--this talking with his friend: it was clear and deep and right: and
what had come before was already dim, had already lost its taste. Even
as he looked back for it, that seemed less real than this.
Something of the essence of these thoughts Tom found and was glad.
“Come, old man,” he said. “Light your pipe: let’s have a chat.”
* * * * *
In a way so gradual and smooth he had no heed, life was going well with
David. He was relaxed before all its elements that met him. His mind,
instead of sallying out to measure and contest each meeting with reality
and to reduce it in vassalage of his own subjective world, receded now
within itself and what it found disguised, remolded into consonance with
the world meeting him.
His easy acquiescence in Constance Bardale’s sense of their relation
brought him reward which his new mood could value. The delusion of love
was rent away. Remained the reality of passion to be accepted or denied.
He was in no mood for denial. Tacitly he let slip all he had dreamed of
woman, all he had dreamed of love. He had no thought of a next-coming
step with Constance. He was not open to surprise or worry. He was calm,
contained. He was the very lover she desired.
And proud of his success. Proud of his conquest of one whom a naif part
of him still found miraculous and remote. At her parties now he fell
back into a silence and reserve of a different meaning. He knew himself
the secret master. The homage of her guests to Constance was homage to
him. Men feeling for her with tense nerves, warm eyes; women seeking her
secret in her words and gestures, envying her power, glad to share in
its largess and pick up the aroused senses of the men that she sent
retreating from her--was incense to David. He could afford to recline
away from the conversation: he could dare outstay the last of the guests
and hold her one moment in his arms, drink in one draught the wine of
the evening’s excitement upon her lips before he left her also.
He did not see her too often. She saw to that. She had a tact and a
control that were artistry. And a consciousness of this that made her
jealous of her standards, steeled her against lowering them, filled her
with a firm discipline of pleasure. She designed the mingling of their
lives with restraint and omission, with emphasis and grace of color.
David breathed the well-being that must rise from any poise of forces.
He had the comfort of the part in an harmonious whole.
Now this well-being wreathed forth into the other, the deeper phases of
his world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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