Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
David chatted. He was out of himself. His words came frictionless. His
words slowed down. He was aware of the stimulus that had taken him out
of himself, that had made him chatter.... Caroline. Lord. He saw her.
Hands rested in her lap: white strong hands in a wide strong lap. A body
luxuriantly full: it was strong. A wave of light from the lamp touched
her hair, made it a glow in the room.... She had without words a
maternal comeliness: she looked down, while he spoke, at her hands with
a girlish reserve.... David got up and kissed her.
She flushed and did not respond. He kissed her several times.
He was up to leave, she stood close under him. She was warm. A certain
discomfort kneaded her firm body, cloying it. She took his hand, looked
down at it, she looked up to his face, not quite meeting his eyes. She
squeezed his hand and pressed it against her waist. She said:
“You can’t really care for me, David?”
So David knew he did not really care. But she had one charm: the joy
there was in bringing a timid flush upon so strong a body.
He came frequently. He delighted to kiss her. Caroline Lord loved to be
kissed.
She had not planned this. She had in a deep way planned nothing in her
life. But she had the gift, as each new fact dawned on the rim of her
world, to be convinced that she had ordered it. Since David was
there,--the nephew of Mr. Deane--and since her senses loved his kissing
her, she planned a marriage.
The unfortunate circumstance was this: by the time she had hatched her
plans and cleared the way in her mind, she had already tasted the
delight of being kissed by David. And this was unfortunate because she
felt as part of her campaign toward marriage the need of circumspection
in such advances as kisses.
David noticed no change at first. Miss Lord feared to go too fast. She
had a sickening sense that she might lose all in her effort to gain all.
She found herself shamefully willing to temporize, and to enjoy the
evils of the day.
But as he held her in his arms, her little shifts began.
She said to him: “David, you do care for me?”
“David, if I felt that you could misunderstand why I let you kiss me,
oh, David,--it would kill me.”
“David, what is going to become of us? I feel that we must be doing
wrong.”
David began to feel how she was indeed asking him a question. She was
expecting something of him. He must give her an answer.
He said to himself: “She wants me to propose to her. Oh, I am sorry!”
His passion was gone.
He was too kind abruptly to stop his visits. It would have been the
kindest thing to do. But David was not egoist enough to know it. He came
less often, and left her alone. He tried to talk to her. He realized how
little talk there had been in the happy visits: how fully those evenings
of delight had been evenings of kisses. The talk wearied him: the “moral
tone” was pervasive and obtrusive.
“Give! Give yourself!” her blood cried against her temples.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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