Male friendship -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
There was a silence. There was calm, very deliberate in Tom. He was
smoking a cigarette. He took the red-tipped toy and held it before his
eyes and looked at it; he blew on it with his half-parted lips. His
lips were very hard against his teeth. The burning tip of the cigarette
flared for an instant under the draught, burned more ash.
“Is not that the question which haunts us, Cornelia?”
She had no word for him. She felt he was unjust and cruel. She was
helpless under his mood. Always in the past, she had been able--the
sister, the mother in Cornelia--to veer him from himself and from
herself when his mood went shattering. She had been wise and poiseful.
Now she lay quivering with him, underneath his words.
“We don’t talk very often, do we, of father and the past? I wonder why
we avoided them. Were they not the scene of our great Victory? Where is
our pride, Cornelia?” He was deliberate and slow: his irony stiff like a
rod.
“Just think,” he said, “what we left: what we overcame! Father! He is
dead now. His remains--all of them, including Ruth and Laura--lie
rotting on the Farm. We should be able to make some sort of estimate of
what he was....”
She wanted to stop him. She wanted to know. Tom was right. Let them make
some estimate of what they were.
“... a man whose blood had turned to poison.... Do you remember how he
used to beat his daughters? The thing to remember in that is that he
loved it. He had one successful daughter: Laura: she loved it also. And
the world we lived in, Cornelia. Few children are brought up in so real
a world. We alone had no illusions about America. We knew that in
America, quite as elsewhere, only the few were to be saved. The rest
were damned. We knew that the deeds of the masses were damned deeds
here, quite as in Europe. Yes:--were there illusions about what he told
us of the Revolutionary Fathers? or the Pioneers? We were wise children.
And the reason was simply that Father taught us to see the truth. Have
you ever thought of that? He taught us better than he knew, himself. For
Father saw through the real world: he saw what a cold and lustful
monster it all is. But he had his way of refuge. He had his God who had
predestined him to heaven. Blessed Father! He had his revenge, for there
was always the same God damning the irritating mob to hell. For his
sake, Sister.... Do you see what I mean? Father gave us his knowledge
for weighing facts, which means that he gave us his disillusions about
Earth. But we did not stop there. We turned that same power against his
own fairy-tales. God went, heaven went, hell went also. All that
remained was the Earth that he had taken from us....”
Tom was silent. He smoked measuredly. He went on:
“Father was a happy man: he had a place to go to, from this desecrated
world. Father was a strong man: he had his God. Where is our God,
Cornelia?”
He sprang up. His eyes flashed. Deep anger was with his hands above his
head. He sank down once more, and dropped his cigarette.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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